As I sit here in my bed after a filling meal, and watching a couple of movies with my family on this Christmas Day, I can only think of one word to sum up the way I feel at the moment, and that is: Appreciative.
The older I get, the more I realize that family, in all aspects of the word, is a valuable piece to the puzzle that makes up our lives. Now, I'm not speaking of just "Mother, Father, Sister, Brother" type family. I'm speaking of the sum of all of it's parts. Friends make up a vast amount of my family. Surrogate families also have played a major role in the creation of whom I am. So many times we overlook the true value in the bonds that make us strong. A person comes into your life, and they teach us valuable lessons, some good, some bad, but there is always a lesson to be learned. A memorable friend (whether that memory be happy or not) is always of value to me. The ones that take a piece of you away, those are not worth keeping around, but they also teach us to not go giving our hearts away to just anyone.
I see so many families that are in disarray, and chaos, over the most trivial of situations, and I stand looking in from outside their proverbial window, and I see a family that has all of the necessary components to have a strong bond, but the most miniscule thing is tearing them apart. Then you see families that have the world falling down around their ears, and they stay strong, they stay passionate, and they stay involved, because they know that the machine only works as well as the strength of each part.
I have a best friend that just had a baby. He has a beautiful wife, and an amazing home. He has a job that I think is incredible. It requires intelligence, skill, and patience. I admire this man for creating what I see as a beautiful family. Things don't always go his way, but he fights, and he struggles to keep that "family" as strong as possible. It takes hard work, and effort, and a lot of times I'm the only one that sees the efforts that he puts forth, but I remind him always that I do see them, and that I admire him for maintaining the strength, and the verve to keep what he has, stable, happy, and secure. That is family.
Family is the tears. Family is hugs. Family is fear of losing them. Family is more than a picture on a wall. Family is the idea that when you are falling down, you need them close to keep you strong. Family is the person that you need a hug from when you feel blue. Family is the person you call when you just want to make sure they're okay and safe. Family is the person you fight hard for in life, as to not let them down. But, above all, family is what makes you become a better person, for them being in your life.
I have shed many a tear for family. Tears of joy. Tears of sorrow. Tears of loneliness when they're not close, and tears of pain when I feel I've wronged them in some way. But, I've never been ashamed of those tears. Without those tears, I wouldn't know I care, and neither would they. A tear is a warm and wet way of showing how passionately you feel for the people that touch your life.
So, as I sit here on Christmas Day, I place my hand on my heart, and say "Thank you." to all of my family for loving me as I am. I am chaos. I am complex. I am strong, but I am fragile.
But, best of all, YOU are my family. I love you all.
Thank you Xander for being my newest inspiration for being a better family member. I will fight for you to keep your future family strong, safe, happy, and well loved. You are the bundle of joy that I consider the best gift of all in my 2011. Thank you Erin for being such a devoted and loving mother. Thank you Josh for being my brother, my best friend, and a man that I look up to and admire. You set the standard on what a man should be. And, most of all, thank you all for letting me be a part of that family.
There are a few more members of my family that I could mention, but that would just make me rattle on and on, and get more long winded and mooshy, and we don't want that.
Stay happy world. We all bleed. We all cry. We all have the ability to love, rather than hate.
Choose love.
Happy Christmas, 2011 to all, and to all a good night.
Merrily yours,
Johnny
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