This one will be short and sweet. I'm sick and fucking tired of this world going to hell over bullshit. I spend at least 200 to 300 texts per week, and 3 to 4 hours, trying to explain to people that bills, work, belongings, and "other" things of lesser importance, should not affect your heart, your mind, and your life. Yes, you have to think about them. Yes, you have to deal with them. But, ultimately, on your grave...a bill will not be holding your hand saying it loves/hates you. No, someone you love and care for will.
Look people, life is genuinely simple. We are born, our parents/parental figure/no one...loves you. You grow up, and you date a few people to have a trial and error period to know what you like and what you don't. You realize you're a complete nerd, so you realize you need to date another nerd. You date that nerd, but he becomes a CEO of a company in college and starts dating a model and dumps you. You date another nerd of lesser value, but he's pretty cool. He decides he's gay and dumps you. You become jaded, and now you're going to ruin every relationship that comes at you from here on. Bright fucking idea.
Let me break it down into the bare bones: We're animals. We are born. We are supposed to reproduce to sustain the species. We die.
Done.
We eat, we drink, we fill the time in between with bullshit. Bars, religion, tv shows, sports...we are filling time with shit that keeps our mind busy until we die. So, if you know this, and accept it, then why fuck up the space in between? The time where you can spend loving, caring, touching, and connecting? Because of a few problems that others are filling their time with? Someone wants your money. Someone wants your time. Someone wants your possessions. But, they cannot take your thoughts, your heart, or your spirit without your permission. Be strong. Be someone that lives in love. It's the only thing on this planet, that is truly dying, but no one cares to acknowledge.
Which, brings me to my next point. Remorse, Regret, Retaliation. So many of you motherfuckers hold on to shit that is just not worth it. "I don't talk to that person anymore." "Why?" "Back in high school, they stole my boyfriend." "You're 42." "She's a bitch." "You're an idiot."
People ask me sometimes if I have any ill feelings towards my exes. My simple answer is "No."
The slightly longer answer is: We live life in segments. Yes, they are all connected, but you still say "When I was in high school." "When I was living in Los Angeles." "When I was....", because you segment your life. No one time should define it. So, with that thought, if you decided to buy a lady an engagement ring, because you were head-over-heels in love with her...you spent the next 3 years in loving bliss. Talking about your future, discussing plans and options, and ultimately just being happy...only to grow apart, lose interest, and break up...well, guess what, you still loved her. You don't understand that what you had was a piece of a larger puzzle. The colors were vivid and bright. The birds were singing, the waterfalls had rainbows, and the sky was blue, but you decide that because the last few pieces of the puzzle were dark, you want to destroy the whole entire image? No. That's holding onto something that is going to ruin your next puzzle. You're going to fall victim to the cycle of negativity and ruin YOURSELF...not them.
You had great memories. Remember those. Look for those same qualities that made you happy in someone else. Did they treat you with respect? Love? Kindness? Did they support your silliest of whims? Were they willing to watch your stupid movie, even though they wanted to see something completely different? Or, were they just there for you, when no one else on the planet was, and you needed someone to turn to?
Look, I've had my fair share of failed relationships. But, that's how society defines them. I see them as "Training Relationships". The person I was with showed me exactly what I want in a woman. "A piece from this one, a smattering of that one, and a pinch of her....perfect."
No, there is no success, nor failure in love. You try. You give your best. You hope the other person loves you as much as you love them, and you do your best to feed it, water it, and give it the attention it deserves. But, even with that perfect equation, sometimes they fall apart. The humidity was wrong. The environment killed it. A weed got to its roots.
Nothing is perfect. But, you cannot let the world beat into your head that other things are more important than love, companionship, family, or partnership. No. A journey is meant to have a witness. You need to have someone there for you that will hold your hand when you're sad. Lend you a shoulder when times are rough, and jump up and down with you when you succeed. But, ultimately, you need to realize that all puzzles are pictures with many pieces. You will get wet standing next to a waterfall, but if you look up you will see a rainbow. Which, brings me to a beautiful piece of advice. This is a short story with a moral:
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by, didn't see the bird, and took a shit on him..
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow shit, he began to realize how warm he was.
The shit was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow shit, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
I will never understand why people think that the bullshit of life is so important.
"So-And-So treated me wrong." "This stupid company keeps fucking me over." "This credit card debt is owning my life." Give me a kiss by a beautiful lady on a beach, a hug by her in the rain, or a meaningful utterance by her when I least expect it... This is my idea of happiness. This is my idea of success. Those other things aren't important enough in my life to negate what is truly important. This is what life is about. I believe that all of life is meant to revolve around love, but people forgot that. People used to go to school, to educate themselves to be able to buy nicer things, to attract an intelligent counterpart, to create a family, and live happily ever after. Then, it became about the "Things" along the way. Then, the school became expensive and the cost of it became the "Thing", and now people drown so far down that they forget that the simple things can be found without having to go the extra mile. Sometimes, they're right in front of you. So, if you have someone, rethink their flaws, and make them "quirks". Stop thinking about what they don't give you, and count the things they do. Be happy someone is in the trenches with you. Stop worrying about the bullshit of life, because they've been by your side, more than likely, even when you didn't know they were. We are ALL fighting a fight of some sort, and it's not about how many punches you throw, it's about how many hits you can take, and still smile after each round.
After all that, just know, each era of life is worth it. It's a lesson. It's an adventure. It's a piece to your puzzle. It's up to you to decide whether it's a corner piece, sun piece, mud piece, or a piece with a heart. Live hard. Love strong. Stop being afraid, and start hugging more.
If we completely come off the tracks, it's so much harder to put the train back on.
Thoughtfully yours,
Knuckles
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