Roll with the punches my little minions, because the shitstorm we call Christmas is two weeks away. It's now chaos incarnate. There is a day where people beat each others ass, for plastic materials that show pretty pictures and families gather around, specifically tailored for this festive time of the year. It's come and gone, thankfully, but the bloodthirst for deals, cooler shit than you have, and being the first person in your tiny circle of friends with the first of something, still fills the air with holiday cheer.
Now, don't get me wrong. I love what Christmas, Hanukkah, and whatever other shit falls around now, stand for: Togetherness. Family. Laughter. Food. Friends. Reflecting.
They're all great things, and should be implemented more often throughout the year. Yet, as time has passed, that spirit has been given up to the monsters that sell you shiny new baubles, in exchange for a handful of trinkets that will fucking break in less than a year.
I remember looking forward to the holidays as a child, just so I could eat a huge meal. So, that, I could hear jingling bells, watch cool cartoons, and snuggle under a blanket and read a book with the smell of firelogs in the air. Now, if you don't get your kid the newest Xbox One/PS4 game, he shoots up a fucking kindergarten. Little cunts. (i didn't have children for a reason...i smelled this wind blowing in years ago, and wanted no part of it)
I still love cooking for my friends.I love to give gifts. I love to laugh and be jolly with everyone around me. I fully grasp the concept of what the holidays are about, Even as an Atheist, I still love the holiday spirit. What it's supposed to infuse into people, and why it should be shared. I don't have to cater to your ideals to believe what the bottom line should be. Love one another. Be happy. Give more. Don't take people for granted...the list goes on. But, it's changed to "What'd you get for Christmas?", and then comparing said response to what you received and either feeling superior, or inferior, depending on said response.
Look, what I am getting at here, is you...my Knuckleheads...are a strong minded group of people. You are the leaders, the poets, the lovers, the entertainers, the hard workers, the educators. You have it within you, whether you are a Believer or not, to spread love and cheer amongst those that you hold dear. And, even those that you have just met, or intend on meeting. You have it within your grasp to be the match that lights this Holiday Season's balls on far, and sends it screaming down the street slapping it's crotch with verve and vigor, all the while shouting to the world to live together happily, with more love, and embrace those that are different. (and, possibly for a fire extinguisher)
You cannot let this death of happiness continue. It's not even for us, as much as it is the next generations. Can you imagine being in a retirement home with those little fucks that scream at their TV's now when they can't get past a level on a game, taking care of your decrepit ass? "FUUUUUCK!!!! Why won't you HOLD YOUR OWN SPOON?!?! Eat your motherfucking OATMEAL!!!" No, I will shove my cane up his stinky winker.
All in all, I am just going to leave you with a message of cheer. If you're getting something for Christmas, just appreciate the love and thought that is behind it, not the value. Hell, getting Christmas Laid is free, and it's worth more than anything you can give or get...because you both win. Just continue to love more, worry less. Have compassion, and be less judgmental. Be a better you, than you thought you could ever be.
Just stop being a fuckhole, and fix this shit.
With all kinds of jingly love,
Knuckles
Showing posts with label entertainment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label entertainment. Show all posts
Monday, December 15, 2014
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Suck it up, or Blow it off!!!
Ladies and Gentlemen!!! I present to you, the most amazing, charismatic, and powerful entity you will ever have the pleasure of coming in contact with...I reintroduce to you....*drum roll*...KNUCKLES THE EVERLASTING!!!
Yes, it's been awhile kids. Too long if you ask me. I have personally walked into the depths of Hell, kicked Satan dead in his bean bag, and told him to go fuck himself, walked my happy ass back to the real world, and here I stand, a better man. War torn, slightly more scarred than before, but above all, a better and stronger Knuckles for your viewing pleasure.
Along the way, I picked up a companion. Alas, she didn't come with a T.A.R.D.I.S., but she did come with a fuzzy white dog. And, like the Doctor himself, I begin a new journey. A new saga. A new adventure. And, like the former companion, this one knows what it takes to keep the beast known as Knuckles Mangano on his leash, and when to set him free upon this world. Tonight, I am free, so I am bemusing you with a set of bookends known as Wisdom and Knowledge.
You see, as with every new adventure, you approach it with a tenseness. Not fear, but wary of what lies ahead. "I gave 100% before, and still came up short. Who's to say this time will be no different?" "I don't know if I will measure up to their past, and if I come up short in one department or another, will she raise her mast and set sail?" But, here is where you get bludgeoned in the face with a Fistful of Knuckles!! *POW!*
As with anything in life, you have to appreciate what you have in front of you. You have to see the adventure and excitement of what can be, and not the fear and resentment of what has got away, or what could have been. Without cold, you would never know warm. Without wet there is no dry, and without a past, there can be no now, and no future. I personally want a comparison chart with the women in my life. Because, if she's been with scumbags that broke her heart, treated her badly, or was just a waste of space, then she's in for a pleasant surprise!! I'm a cooking, cleaning, poem writing, door opening, well groomed, highly articulate, properly educated, loving MACHINE!!! And, prove it on a daily basis. Whereas, if she had no comparison, she would never know the treasure that lies at her feet.
No, weak men and women want the person with NO experience in life or love, because then there is no standard to live up to. The issue with that is, if there is no standard, then when presented with something or someone "slightly" better than what stands next to them, they jump to it. A heart without scars has seen no battles, and therefore knows not what peace and tranquility can be like. I may be a scotch drinking, cigar smoking, cursing animal of a human, but I know what respect, dignity, admiration, kindness, and support are, and I am not afraid to add them to my arsenal when going into the war call Love. I need a woman that makes me proud to stand beside her. Strong enough to face the world, but soft and gentle enough to make me feel loved. I want to be her anchor, but also be her cannon. I want her to be strong, beautiful, caring, and intelligent. Brave, adventurous, cunning and fun. She should be everything I love, and everything I am missing. She must be the missing chapter to my newest book, because we should never stop writing, especially when the topic is love.
Which brings me to the other topic. Love.
In college, I wrote a 6 page paper on how Vagina was the biggest economical advantage to the economy and Big Business. Men, as a whole, begin at puberty with this idea. You wake up thinking about women (some about other men, but i'm using women in this example), and go to sleep thinking about women. You go to the gym to get ripped, to get the attention of women. You hit high school and realize that if you dress cooler, act smoother, wear cologne/shower more often, then you get better quality of women. Then you hit college and realize: If you're more educated, you'll get a better job, make more money, to get cooler clothes, drive a cooler car, to go to the coolest bars/clubs, so you can...you guessed it...get the hotter chick. Then, you hit a certain age, and after spending ALL of that money, you realize - - -> "I wasn't chasing the right thing. I was chasing vagina, when I should have been chasing companionship."
I was lucky enough to have always known this. To me, Love is an art form. It's colorful. It's elegant. It can make you smile. It can make you sad. It can lift your spirits, or drop you to your knees. Love is what this world needs more of, but many have no clue where to find it, what to do with it once they have it, let alone what to do if it starts to falter.
No, love is the center of the universe and belongs in everyone's heart. With that said, let's put the books inbetween the bookends.
Without the knowledge that Love is the be-all and end-all of this world, and without the Wisdom to know what to do once you have it, then you will never truly find happiness. When people stop acting like a Cunt-Cookie and nitpicking at someone's past they are now with, then they will pick the person apart until the only thing left is an empty shell, and when you look back you will realize that it was you that peeled away the layers of love, looking for the rotten pieces that were ever-so-tiny on the inside. As with the Boogey Man, if you stare into the closet long enough, you will find what you're looking for. But, if you love, accept, forgive, and build anew, then you can set aside differences and create your own future, your own NOW, and be happy living in what you have.
So, my fellow fuckholes, look inside your hearts and realize that it's love you should work hard for. It's love you should strive to secure in your life. It's love that you desire and need. Stop seeking perfection, because it doesn't exist, because more often than not, if someone held a mirror up to you, then you wouldn't feel so perfect yourself.
Write poems, and build smiles from pain. Create new adventures. If you've been hurt, don't take it out on others, just let the wounds heal, and share the scars, but never...ever...let it prevent you from taking the risk of loving again. When you look back on the books that you've written, and the many chapters of your Life that have filled these books, then let your story be one of overcoming hardship, seeking love, finding compassion in your heart for others' pains, and helping the ones you love to find a world that is a place that is worthy to live in, and not one they fear.
Why? Because, I fucking said so. That's why.
Always with love,
And, sometimes a dirty thought or two,
- Knuckles
Yes, it's been awhile kids. Too long if you ask me. I have personally walked into the depths of Hell, kicked Satan dead in his bean bag, and told him to go fuck himself, walked my happy ass back to the real world, and here I stand, a better man. War torn, slightly more scarred than before, but above all, a better and stronger Knuckles for your viewing pleasure.
Along the way, I picked up a companion. Alas, she didn't come with a T.A.R.D.I.S., but she did come with a fuzzy white dog. And, like the Doctor himself, I begin a new journey. A new saga. A new adventure. And, like the former companion, this one knows what it takes to keep the beast known as Knuckles Mangano on his leash, and when to set him free upon this world. Tonight, I am free, so I am bemusing you with a set of bookends known as Wisdom and Knowledge.
You see, as with every new adventure, you approach it with a tenseness. Not fear, but wary of what lies ahead. "I gave 100% before, and still came up short. Who's to say this time will be no different?" "I don't know if I will measure up to their past, and if I come up short in one department or another, will she raise her mast and set sail?" But, here is where you get bludgeoned in the face with a Fistful of Knuckles!! *POW!*
As with anything in life, you have to appreciate what you have in front of you. You have to see the adventure and excitement of what can be, and not the fear and resentment of what has got away, or what could have been. Without cold, you would never know warm. Without wet there is no dry, and without a past, there can be no now, and no future. I personally want a comparison chart with the women in my life. Because, if she's been with scumbags that broke her heart, treated her badly, or was just a waste of space, then she's in for a pleasant surprise!! I'm a cooking, cleaning, poem writing, door opening, well groomed, highly articulate, properly educated, loving MACHINE!!! And, prove it on a daily basis. Whereas, if she had no comparison, she would never know the treasure that lies at her feet.
No, weak men and women want the person with NO experience in life or love, because then there is no standard to live up to. The issue with that is, if there is no standard, then when presented with something or someone "slightly" better than what stands next to them, they jump to it. A heart without scars has seen no battles, and therefore knows not what peace and tranquility can be like. I may be a scotch drinking, cigar smoking, cursing animal of a human, but I know what respect, dignity, admiration, kindness, and support are, and I am not afraid to add them to my arsenal when going into the war call Love. I need a woman that makes me proud to stand beside her. Strong enough to face the world, but soft and gentle enough to make me feel loved. I want to be her anchor, but also be her cannon. I want her to be strong, beautiful, caring, and intelligent. Brave, adventurous, cunning and fun. She should be everything I love, and everything I am missing. She must be the missing chapter to my newest book, because we should never stop writing, especially when the topic is love.
Which brings me to the other topic. Love.
In college, I wrote a 6 page paper on how Vagina was the biggest economical advantage to the economy and Big Business. Men, as a whole, begin at puberty with this idea. You wake up thinking about women (some about other men, but i'm using women in this example), and go to sleep thinking about women. You go to the gym to get ripped, to get the attention of women. You hit high school and realize that if you dress cooler, act smoother, wear cologne/shower more often, then you get better quality of women. Then you hit college and realize: If you're more educated, you'll get a better job, make more money, to get cooler clothes, drive a cooler car, to go to the coolest bars/clubs, so you can...you guessed it...get the hotter chick. Then, you hit a certain age, and after spending ALL of that money, you realize - - -> "I wasn't chasing the right thing. I was chasing vagina, when I should have been chasing companionship."
I was lucky enough to have always known this. To me, Love is an art form. It's colorful. It's elegant. It can make you smile. It can make you sad. It can lift your spirits, or drop you to your knees. Love is what this world needs more of, but many have no clue where to find it, what to do with it once they have it, let alone what to do if it starts to falter.
No, love is the center of the universe and belongs in everyone's heart. With that said, let's put the books inbetween the bookends.
Without the knowledge that Love is the be-all and end-all of this world, and without the Wisdom to know what to do once you have it, then you will never truly find happiness. When people stop acting like a Cunt-Cookie and nitpicking at someone's past they are now with, then they will pick the person apart until the only thing left is an empty shell, and when you look back you will realize that it was you that peeled away the layers of love, looking for the rotten pieces that were ever-so-tiny on the inside. As with the Boogey Man, if you stare into the closet long enough, you will find what you're looking for. But, if you love, accept, forgive, and build anew, then you can set aside differences and create your own future, your own NOW, and be happy living in what you have.
So, my fellow fuckholes, look inside your hearts and realize that it's love you should work hard for. It's love you should strive to secure in your life. It's love that you desire and need. Stop seeking perfection, because it doesn't exist, because more often than not, if someone held a mirror up to you, then you wouldn't feel so perfect yourself.
Write poems, and build smiles from pain. Create new adventures. If you've been hurt, don't take it out on others, just let the wounds heal, and share the scars, but never...ever...let it prevent you from taking the risk of loving again. When you look back on the books that you've written, and the many chapters of your Life that have filled these books, then let your story be one of overcoming hardship, seeking love, finding compassion in your heart for others' pains, and helping the ones you love to find a world that is a place that is worthy to live in, and not one they fear.
Why? Because, I fucking said so. That's why.
Always with love,
And, sometimes a dirty thought or two,
- Knuckles
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Passion Froot Loops
How goes it Knuckleheads? Today's nugget of wisdom comes to you by the letter P. For once, it's not Punk, Pussy, or Pumpernickel. No, today it's all about Passion.
"Passion for what?" you ask?
Passion for EVERYTHING!! You see, I have been walking through this world for quite some time now. I see the actions, ideas, and functions of people, and it intrigues me. My biggest issue with the direction of how humanity is going is passion.
I believe people have lost their passion for most things. As a society, as a race (human, for you fucking idiots that thing ethnicity is a race), and as a culture...we have lost passion for all things beautiful. For example; I love to cook. I love to cook to the point that I will be working, and see a spice, and plan a meal around it, just to taste a hint of the spice I see. I know someone I care about is sick, it makes me crave cooking a chicken noodle soup that only I can create, just for them. That, my friends, is passion.
Long gone are the days where you hear of a band, group, or musical artist living out of a van just to make it from venue to venue to play his or her music for a small group of people that appreciate the words they convey, or the chords that they pluck. Long gone are the days where an painter doesn't try to make a million dollars off of one painting. (sidenote: Long gone are the days of the painter, sculptor, or what have you, because things are so mass produced, there is no market for them)
People "Like" things now. "Love" things. "Oh, I'm an actor, and I love it.". But, would you be willing to do it if you lived out of your car, and had to travel the world for peanuts? People love the prestige. The idea. People romanticize about the fame, glory, and name that comes with being an athlete, or an actor. But, no one eats, breathes, and bleeds what they love any longer.
Passion. A name synonymous with sex. A name that literally means: intense emotion: intense or overpowering emotion such as love, joy, hatred, or anger.
Yet, we cannot encompass it any longer. I have never dated a woman, that the word Passion did not enter my head. I have never chased a dream, that I didn't have a passion for. I will die in the street, before I find something I just "like" to do, and pretend it's a passion. In the bedroom, in the street, in our lives, we need more passion. If it's a particular care. Be passionate about it. Don't just like it. Learn why it's awesome. Learn the horsepower. Learn the manufacturer specs. Learn as much as you can, and then learn more. If you're passionate about an artist, find out as much as you can. If you're in love, figure out new ways to impress your loved one to the point they have no idea why you love them so much. Be passionate. Be more than "like".
I'm tired of a society of Like. I'm sick of a society of talentless, generic, simple process people. I'm over the idea of mass production of artistic talent. (i.e. posters of Van Gough, Michaelangelo, or so on...) I love strong. I create strong. I live strong. (not like those pussy ass yellow arm bands, but as a literal fact) I will never make love to a woman I do not feel passionate about. I will never accept a movie role that I do not feel passionate about the script. I will never listen to music that doesn't touch my soul on some kind of passionate level.
Even something as simple as you guys, makes my heart flutter, blood boil, and mind expand. That isn't generic. That is a passion of writing, with a bi-product of readers.
Few things in life remind us of life. But, creating, loving, and embodying, are a few things that make you appreciate being human. Appreciate the value of things we can accomplish in our lifetime. To witness things you aren't capable of, makes me see passion in other people. Whether it's artistic or not.
The world needs less money, and more passion. Less hate, and more love. Less propaganda and more truth. But, we as humans need to get back to what we know best...passion.
Fuck harder. Love stronger. Writer deeper. Draw cleaner. Act happier.
Be passionate.
- With sincerity,
Knuckles
"Passion for what?" you ask?
Passion for EVERYTHING!! You see, I have been walking through this world for quite some time now. I see the actions, ideas, and functions of people, and it intrigues me. My biggest issue with the direction of how humanity is going is passion.
I believe people have lost their passion for most things. As a society, as a race (human, for you fucking idiots that thing ethnicity is a race), and as a culture...we have lost passion for all things beautiful. For example; I love to cook. I love to cook to the point that I will be working, and see a spice, and plan a meal around it, just to taste a hint of the spice I see. I know someone I care about is sick, it makes me crave cooking a chicken noodle soup that only I can create, just for them. That, my friends, is passion.
Long gone are the days where you hear of a band, group, or musical artist living out of a van just to make it from venue to venue to play his or her music for a small group of people that appreciate the words they convey, or the chords that they pluck. Long gone are the days where an painter doesn't try to make a million dollars off of one painting. (sidenote: Long gone are the days of the painter, sculptor, or what have you, because things are so mass produced, there is no market for them)
People "Like" things now. "Love" things. "Oh, I'm an actor, and I love it.". But, would you be willing to do it if you lived out of your car, and had to travel the world for peanuts? People love the prestige. The idea. People romanticize about the fame, glory, and name that comes with being an athlete, or an actor. But, no one eats, breathes, and bleeds what they love any longer.
Passion. A name synonymous with sex. A name that literally means: intense emotion: intense or overpowering emotion such as love, joy, hatred, or anger.
Yet, we cannot encompass it any longer. I have never dated a woman, that the word Passion did not enter my head. I have never chased a dream, that I didn't have a passion for. I will die in the street, before I find something I just "like" to do, and pretend it's a passion. In the bedroom, in the street, in our lives, we need more passion. If it's a particular care. Be passionate about it. Don't just like it. Learn why it's awesome. Learn the horsepower. Learn the manufacturer specs. Learn as much as you can, and then learn more. If you're passionate about an artist, find out as much as you can. If you're in love, figure out new ways to impress your loved one to the point they have no idea why you love them so much. Be passionate. Be more than "like".
I'm tired of a society of Like. I'm sick of a society of talentless, generic, simple process people. I'm over the idea of mass production of artistic talent. (i.e. posters of Van Gough, Michaelangelo, or so on...) I love strong. I create strong. I live strong. (not like those pussy ass yellow arm bands, but as a literal fact) I will never make love to a woman I do not feel passionate about. I will never accept a movie role that I do not feel passionate about the script. I will never listen to music that doesn't touch my soul on some kind of passionate level.
Even something as simple as you guys, makes my heart flutter, blood boil, and mind expand. That isn't generic. That is a passion of writing, with a bi-product of readers.
Few things in life remind us of life. But, creating, loving, and embodying, are a few things that make you appreciate being human. Appreciate the value of things we can accomplish in our lifetime. To witness things you aren't capable of, makes me see passion in other people. Whether it's artistic or not.
The world needs less money, and more passion. Less hate, and more love. Less propaganda and more truth. But, we as humans need to get back to what we know best...passion.
Fuck harder. Love stronger. Writer deeper. Draw cleaner. Act happier.
Be passionate.
- With sincerity,
Knuckles
Monday, December 31, 2012
A Fistful of Fuck You 2012!!
Hello all!! Welcome to the final hours of 2012. One of the most roller coaster years that I have seen in my own life, society, and the world in quite some time. From election shit, to people arguing over rights and violations of such rights, we may have all lost a friend or two, gained some, witnessed the unveiling of others "true colors", and generally have been left with a foul taste in our mouths.
Countries have been in turmoil. Apocalypses have been avoided. (due to it being sheer stupidity to begin with) Economies have tanked. Many lives have been lost, but above all I think we have all learned a bit more about ourselves, and those we surround ourselves with.
I personally can say I have a new verve for life. I have released a few people from my life, but gained a few others. I have learned that people can learn to be more accepting, while others can be swayed with something as simple as a meme they see on Facebook or twitter. But, all in all, I can say I have survived this all intact, and a bit wiser for my journey.
Now, as we embark on what can only be known as "A new year", we must all focus more on being better individuals and a better society. Reassess your morals. Reassess your assertiveness. Learn to make sacrifices. Learn more compassion. Be open minded, and if you don't truly know of a subject, don't listen to here-say, do some research, and make your own judgement after doing so. Give more. Ask for less. If someone has done a kind action for you, then think of a way to reciprocate that same generosity. Life is about connections. Connecting with new people to find new friends, new love, and possibly a new journey. Connecting with yourself on an intimate, honest basis. Learning what your faults are and making an honest effort to repair them. Even the most mighty oak needs to trim off the dead limbs to continue to be strong and sturdy.
Everyone: Fuck more. Live more. Travel more. Explore more. Read more. Enjoy more. Kiss more. Cuddle more. Hug more. It's all good energy. I use the saying "Play through the pain." a lot. I think it can be relevant to many aspects of life. Loneliness. Sadness. Physical pain. Emotional pain....or whatever...just play through it, learn from it and repair it. Then, move on. Be better for your mistakes. Just because you are alive, does not mean you're living. Be the person that your 10 year old self wanted to be.
Couples: Make an honest effort to argue less, and care more. Give backrubs out of nowhere. Sneak a kiss on the others cheek when they least expect it. Write a poem and hide it where you know they'll find it during the day. Find a little time to look them in the eyes and ask them with sincerity how they are. Not at that moment, but in general. It goes a long way to know someone cares at a cellular level. Never be stand-offish. It creates walls. No matter what the subject is, sit down, and hash it out like adults and be transparent with one another. Love is rare...in any form...so find ways to hold onto it, because, take my word for it, when it's gone, it hurts more than the moment that is causing the chaos. Be the parent/uncle/aunt/guardian that you always wished you'd had when you were a kid.
Individually, just strive to be a better person. If you think you've hit a wall in life, look for a door, if you can't find a door, look for a window, if you can't find a window, look for a sledgehammer and start hammering away, because the thing about walls, is they can all be torn down. Be brave. Take risks. Life is a challenge, and you will ALWAYS be tested and you will ALWAYS need to be prepared to rise to the occasion. So, know that things will be rough, and know that no matter what, you will have support from the ones that love you, and therefore you should try to be as "lovable" as possible.
But, most of all, enjoy your motherfucking journey. Stop setting so many goals, and just make a checklist for life. "Goal" is a strong word. When you fail one, you feel a deep resentment towards yourself, and a sense of being a failure. But, a checklist for life, just enables you to move to the next box and shoot for it, and maybe try to come back to the one you didn't achieve before. As I read the other day, "Enjoy today, because you just exchanged a day of your life for it.".
Be proud of whom you are. Be comfortable in your own skin. Be accepting of diversity, and difference, because if we were all the same, then life would just be generic. We love to look at different flowers of all shapes and sizes, so why can't we apply that to our own damn race? (human race)
Now, as I head off to work my way through this New Year, I want you to all think of me, have a drink or two in my honor, and know that if you're reading this, that I genuinely care for you and love you. There are far too many negatives in this life to concentrate on them. There are far too many things to be afraid of, to not learn to be brave. But, there are far too few Knuckles on this planet, for you to not love me for who the fuck I am.
So, cheers...slainte...salud...salute...to all of my Knucklers...
Go get a skinful, pissed ass drunk, and when you're hungover tomorrow, scream out my name, and I shall give you the secret to life...
Happy 2013 One and All!!!!
- Johnny "Knuckles" Mangano
P.S. Stay away from Jagermeister for New Years, that shit's for 18 year old's and is a motherfucking cursed beast of a hangover.
P.P.S. *fist bump* Yeah....I still do fist bumps.
Countries have been in turmoil. Apocalypses have been avoided. (due to it being sheer stupidity to begin with) Economies have tanked. Many lives have been lost, but above all I think we have all learned a bit more about ourselves, and those we surround ourselves with.
I personally can say I have a new verve for life. I have released a few people from my life, but gained a few others. I have learned that people can learn to be more accepting, while others can be swayed with something as simple as a meme they see on Facebook or twitter. But, all in all, I can say I have survived this all intact, and a bit wiser for my journey.
Now, as we embark on what can only be known as "A new year", we must all focus more on being better individuals and a better society. Reassess your morals. Reassess your assertiveness. Learn to make sacrifices. Learn more compassion. Be open minded, and if you don't truly know of a subject, don't listen to here-say, do some research, and make your own judgement after doing so. Give more. Ask for less. If someone has done a kind action for you, then think of a way to reciprocate that same generosity. Life is about connections. Connecting with new people to find new friends, new love, and possibly a new journey. Connecting with yourself on an intimate, honest basis. Learning what your faults are and making an honest effort to repair them. Even the most mighty oak needs to trim off the dead limbs to continue to be strong and sturdy.
Everyone: Fuck more. Live more. Travel more. Explore more. Read more. Enjoy more. Kiss more. Cuddle more. Hug more. It's all good energy. I use the saying "Play through the pain." a lot. I think it can be relevant to many aspects of life. Loneliness. Sadness. Physical pain. Emotional pain....or whatever...just play through it, learn from it and repair it. Then, move on. Be better for your mistakes. Just because you are alive, does not mean you're living. Be the person that your 10 year old self wanted to be.
Couples: Make an honest effort to argue less, and care more. Give backrubs out of nowhere. Sneak a kiss on the others cheek when they least expect it. Write a poem and hide it where you know they'll find it during the day. Find a little time to look them in the eyes and ask them with sincerity how they are. Not at that moment, but in general. It goes a long way to know someone cares at a cellular level. Never be stand-offish. It creates walls. No matter what the subject is, sit down, and hash it out like adults and be transparent with one another. Love is rare...in any form...so find ways to hold onto it, because, take my word for it, when it's gone, it hurts more than the moment that is causing the chaos. Be the parent/uncle/aunt/guardian that you always wished you'd had when you were a kid.
Individually, just strive to be a better person. If you think you've hit a wall in life, look for a door, if you can't find a door, look for a window, if you can't find a window, look for a sledgehammer and start hammering away, because the thing about walls, is they can all be torn down. Be brave. Take risks. Life is a challenge, and you will ALWAYS be tested and you will ALWAYS need to be prepared to rise to the occasion. So, know that things will be rough, and know that no matter what, you will have support from the ones that love you, and therefore you should try to be as "lovable" as possible.
But, most of all, enjoy your motherfucking journey. Stop setting so many goals, and just make a checklist for life. "Goal" is a strong word. When you fail one, you feel a deep resentment towards yourself, and a sense of being a failure. But, a checklist for life, just enables you to move to the next box and shoot for it, and maybe try to come back to the one you didn't achieve before. As I read the other day, "Enjoy today, because you just exchanged a day of your life for it.".
Be proud of whom you are. Be comfortable in your own skin. Be accepting of diversity, and difference, because if we were all the same, then life would just be generic. We love to look at different flowers of all shapes and sizes, so why can't we apply that to our own damn race? (human race)
Now, as I head off to work my way through this New Year, I want you to all think of me, have a drink or two in my honor, and know that if you're reading this, that I genuinely care for you and love you. There are far too many negatives in this life to concentrate on them. There are far too many things to be afraid of, to not learn to be brave. But, there are far too few Knuckles on this planet, for you to not love me for who the fuck I am.
So, cheers...slainte...salud...salute...to all of my Knucklers...
Go get a skinful, pissed ass drunk, and when you're hungover tomorrow, scream out my name, and I shall give you the secret to life...
Happy 2013 One and All!!!!
- Johnny "Knuckles" Mangano
P.S. Stay away from Jagermeister for New Years, that shit's for 18 year old's and is a motherfucking cursed beast of a hangover.
P.P.S. *fist bump* Yeah....I still do fist bumps.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
The Power of the Positive Mindfuck
Hello my Fistful of Readers. And, welcome to yet another rant by yours truly. Today I will be talking about a couple of different things, that tie together like a pearl necklace. No, not THAT pearl necklace! The type that Marge Simpson wears. A big nugget of wisdom, strung together to another nugget of wisdom. Let's just dive right in, shall we?
For years growing up I found myself looking forward to the Holidays. As soon as that nip hit the air, it was obvious that the holiday landslide was about to come barreling through. First, it would be Halloween. That time of year where you can hide behind a mask, and pretend to be someone else for a day or two. Then (my favorite) was Thanksgiving. A day devoted to eating and spending time with people that supposedly loved you unconditionally. Then, came Christmas. Now, mentally, I've never been on board with any religious belief or connotation. But, Christmas was fucking magical. Not Harry Potter or Elton John type magical. But, it had the power to turn the grumpiest of fucks into people that would hurry to open a door for someone carrying a large package, or help someone up that had busted their ass on a sheet of black ice. It was the time of year that you knew Rudolph would be on TV, and jingly bells and sparkling lights would be on every lamp post and every window. Generally, I loved that whole 3 month stretch. The warmth of the house, the feeling of impending meals with family, and the love that seemed to infect the air everywhere you went.
Then....
Something fucking happened along the way to the New Year. These three months that I speak of have done something quite different to everyone. People no longer think about the meals, the family, the TV shows...they want to slit their own wrists because they can't afford to buy gifts for everyone in their family. They rush through Thanksgiving dinner so they can get the tent out and head to Best Buy because they have a chance at getting a 60" tv for $1.00. People humbug, more than they hug. (which pisses me off, because i'm a hugger)
Look, I get that the financial crunch puts people in stressful situations, and moods, but it's not about money people. It's deeper than that.
I'm an Atheist, and even though I didn't know there was a word for what I was until I got older, as far as I know, I've always been one. I put on the tap shoes and did the old song and dance every now and then so that people wouldn't shun me, or so I could have friends, but in my heart of hearts, I knew what my feelings were. Yet, I still supported and encouraged the "Feeling of Christmas". Because, at it's root, it's benefiting and not harming. But, it's no longer benefiting. People are more hung up on what they can "give or get" than the human experience that once existed. If you took away the value of what's in the box, and replaced said gift with...let's say...a rock, in everyone's hand, what would people think? What would their reaction be? Mine would be "Awww, thank you! Now I have something to throw at the heads of all the materialistic fuckwits that have lost the true meaning of the Holidays.", and then give them a hug. But, we know that wouldn't be the reaction of the majority of society. No. People are more depressed, angry, bitter, annoyed, anxious, and every other Eeyore emotion that I can think of at this time of year. People get annoyed at hearing Christmas Carols. They scoff at how many Christmas cartoons are on television. They seem to roll and revel in the darkness that embodies the holidays, and the momentum just seems to be growing.
Which, brings me to my next bit of fuckery: Cheer the fuck UP people!!
Okay, I know that the way I rant, grind, bitch, and complain that you think that I'm bitter and angry at the world. Which, you couldn't possibly be more wrong. I actually piss people off with my positive spin on the majority of situations. "I'm starving! I have no food!" "Well, at least you'll lose a few pounds. And, look at it this way, when you DO get some food, it will taste better than you could have ever imagined." "Fuck you Johnny." "Come here and give me a hug." "No. Fuck you."
Sorry...went a little far on that one...
But, it just annoys me at the negativity in everyone. Here, look at it this way; I don't care whether you're Christian, Atheist, Muslim, or Buddhist, you can admit to one thing...from the moment you're born, your physical body is a ticking time bomb that is going to explode out of existence one day. Gone. Kablooey. Yet, people fill their days with such negative words, and thoughts that they just piss away perfectly good seconds, of perfectly good minutes, of perfectly good....well, you get my drift.
Your clock is ticking you stupid fuck. You could get a stiddy tomorrow and die in a year. You could step off the curb while texting the person you love and get eaten by a dragon....or....is it hit by a bus....some fucking thing. Needless to say, you are dying with each minute that passes. So, when you use words like: can't, won't, shouldn't, never, and even hashtags like #fml (fuck my life for those non-nerds) or other negative shit, you are implanting negative thoughts, energy and feelings into yourself that grown, and expand, and eat away at your psyche.
I catch a lot of shit for my borderline narcissism. It annoys people when you say you're smart, or handsome, or the life of the party. They want you to be modest, and humble, and (in my mind) weak. But, why? I know my time bomb is ticking, and it will pop when it damn well wants to, and I want to feel like I lived like a motherfucking rockstar when I go out. I want to feel like I was as good looking as I could be. Successful as I could have possibly been, and that this world was MINE!!! If I'm good at something, I want to feel like I'm the best at it. Not, "I'm okay at it I guess.". Fuck that! That's loser talk. Is that how you want to sound on your deathbed? "I was okay at a few things. Generally kind of average." That's not modesty, that's a sad sack of shit is what that is. Own your life. People want you to be modest and humble, because they have insecurities and they don't want anyone feeling (or being) better at things than they are. Be confident. Be assertive. Be charismatic. Be proud.
Now, don't take that and say "I'm ONLY going to think of myself.", because that's not what I'm saying. Give, love, donate, embrace...but, never feel inferior. Negative words, negative thoughts, and negative reactions only create more of said things. Feelings and thoughts are like a virus, and they spread quickly and without fear. If you have a Happy High, chances are you're going to ride that high and things will shine brighter, feel warmer and be more uplifting. But, if you bottom out on your feelings and thoughts, they snowball, and that's an even harder pattern to break.
Short of being just blatant and telling you that you're a fucking moron for not being happy (no matter what your situation is, because believe me, i've been on rock bottom, and there's always some glimmer of light to concentrate your soul on following), I'm going to tell you to try and change your mindset. It's hard, believe me. I didn't get to this mentality in one day. It takes practice. It takes stepping out of situations mentally and evaluating them as quickly as you can, trying to find a positive spin, and then stepping back in, on a routine basis before you start to see it more often, and respond more quickly when you feel negativity encroaching on your situation and thoughts.
So, with all of that said, I'll leave you with this; Let's as a whole, put the "Happy" back in Happy Holidays. Let's put our fingers on the pulse of those we love around us, and if it feels dark and bitter, try and help them find that flicker of light in the darkness. But, ultimately, as the Human Race, let's remember that love, brotherhood, and family is what makes this world tolerable. If you strip away the clothes, tv's, ipods, and money, we're left with a fleshy shell that embodies feelings, emotions, thoughts, and heart. Concentrate on that, and fix what's broke, and highlight what's well, and ultimately...just maybe...we can figure out how to love one another a little easier.
That's enough for now, remember...think positive, be happy...and most of all...know that I'm better than you.
Sincerely your Secret Santa,
Tony Stark.....I mean....Knuckles
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
A Fistful of Monsters in my Closet...
"Concentrate long enough on a focal point of negativity, and it will consume you wholly." ~ Knuckles
I submit to you, my version of self help for the weak minded fuckwit.
Well, I guess you can be one or the other, or both, and still need this advice, but it will definitely shine some light on all the above.
Negativity is a monster. I mean a real bad, PMS'ing, fire spewing, cunt of a monster. It causes hate. It causes depression. It causes anger, and resentment, and fear, and a whole slew of other shit. Negativity also causes us to see shit with a slanted view. Now, I for one admit to submitting to this demon from time to time. It's a constant uphill battle to fight off this raging whoremonster, but I do a damn good job. But, what I've also learned is that it's harder to UNDO the effects of Negativity than it is to prevent it.
Imagine this:
You're a child. Maybe, 5 or 6 years old. You've got loving parents that buy you nice clothes, fun toys, and have given you a comfortable life. In your bedroom you have your walls painted to your idea of fun specifications, your toys are where you like to keep them, and your clothes are hung neatly in your closet.
One night, you go to bed, and you leave your closet door slightly open, and (unbeknownst to you, there's a sweater sleeve hanging out on the doorknob, a la Monster's Inc) you are in your bed, with the lights out before you notice this. Something goes *bump* in your closet and #POOF!# your sanctuary has all of a sudden become your tomb. You stare into this void...you stare...and stare...and try to make out what it was that made that noise, and you eventually see the sleeve slide off the handle and "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!! IT'S A GOT-DAMNED MONSTER!!!" *BANG!* under your sheets you go to hide, where you are nearly pissing your pants, and you do your best to stay awake until the sun comes up.
Now, as a child, you'll eventually fall asleep, and awaken and wearily open your closet door to find nothing there. But, now the bug has been planted. "There's something in there!" Now your room doesn't feel so bright and happy. You don't see it as Disneyland anymore. More like a torture chamber of doom that some horrible beast is going to jump out and chew off your little cocktail shrimp sized weenie. (I'm a boy, we think of weird shit like that)
=
Now, this is where I like to relay my 90%-10% view on life. You see, that closet consumed that kid...one little fucking thing...consumed his thoughts, his day, his life...and, after checking to see if there was something there, and finding nothing, all he had to do was reassure himself nothing was there, and move on. But, something that was 10% of his day, became 100% thereafter.
Here's where we do this with adults. Say for instance you hear at Church that it's wrong to be gay. You'd never heard that, but you hear it from your Pastor/Preacher/Priest. You go home, and type into Google: Being Gay is Wrong...and KABOOM!!...a million things pop up and you start reading it. You read it into the night, and go to bed thinking about it. Now, you've piqued your interest, and you go back to some of those pages you visited the previous night, at work the next day. The more you read things from "People that know this for a fact" (self proclaimed), the more you feel like YOU know it as fact as well. Now, you start asking around, and find similar minded people to talk about it with. The next thing you know...you're at ant-homosexual rallies spouting bigoted verbality at anyone that will listen.
You had a perfectly happy life. Full of love, happiness, and kindness...and the Negativity consumed you to the point that you forgot about the 90%, and started focusing on the monster in the closet.
=
I see the same thing happen with my friends that are unemployed, or just out of a loving relationship that suddenly failed, or their life just isn't going the way they want. But, they have a friend like me to turn to...a good friend...that's 10% on it's own. They normally have family, that's 10%. A roof over your head -> 10%....and the numbers keep adding up. But, it's that Negative 10% that keeps their attention. I've written blogs before about how these fucked up partners in relationships find a man or woman that is 90% of what they wanted, but they fart in their sleep, or watch Jersey Shore, or some other knuckle dragging nonsense...and, that 10% encompasses them to the point that they start looking for someone that has the 10% that the person that they're with is missing, and eventually leave 90% for the 10% person, and finish unhappy and realize they fucked up when it's too late.
Look cock-knot, we all have a miserable beast in our closet. The best thing to do, is to nut up, and get your weak minded ass out of bed and kick the fucking door shut with authority, and choose happiness/positivity. Because if you walk through life looking into the closet, you're never going to play with your toys, paint your room, hug your parents, or crank on your noodle the same way again. You're constantly going to be looking over your shoulder at that crack in the door and peering inside to see that lack of a job, or that broken heart, or that exploded fuck doll. (or whatever else saddens you)
I know, I know...it's harder than it sounds...but, Tomorrow's big brother is Today, and what Today says...Tomorrow will listen to.
So, do me a favor, and stop hating others. Stop dragging yourself through the mud. Stop focusing on shit that really has nothing that directly effects your day-to-day reality. Other people have their own demons to fight, without you being another one. Because, when you hate, or your down, or when you are just a fuckhole altogether...you sprout horns, grow a tail, and become one of those raging hatemongers, and who wants that to be their legacy?
Kick that door shut. Live in the light. Embrace love. Duct tape that hole in your fuck doll and get back to plowing it, because Tomorrow just told me that Today said "I may not be at the party tomorrow, so toss one back for me!"
I love you all. You inspire me to write. You give my mind a constant workout. And, some of you give me a reason to rub one out. So, to all of you, thank you...you make my heart love more, my brain more intelligent and my....well....we'll leave it at that.
Monsterously yours,
Knuckles
I submit to you, my version of self help for the weak minded fuckwit.
Well, I guess you can be one or the other, or both, and still need this advice, but it will definitely shine some light on all the above.
Negativity is a monster. I mean a real bad, PMS'ing, fire spewing, cunt of a monster. It causes hate. It causes depression. It causes anger, and resentment, and fear, and a whole slew of other shit. Negativity also causes us to see shit with a slanted view. Now, I for one admit to submitting to this demon from time to time. It's a constant uphill battle to fight off this raging whoremonster, but I do a damn good job. But, what I've also learned is that it's harder to UNDO the effects of Negativity than it is to prevent it.
Imagine this:
You're a child. Maybe, 5 or 6 years old. You've got loving parents that buy you nice clothes, fun toys, and have given you a comfortable life. In your bedroom you have your walls painted to your idea of fun specifications, your toys are where you like to keep them, and your clothes are hung neatly in your closet.
One night, you go to bed, and you leave your closet door slightly open, and (unbeknownst to you, there's a sweater sleeve hanging out on the doorknob, a la Monster's Inc) you are in your bed, with the lights out before you notice this. Something goes *bump* in your closet and #POOF!# your sanctuary has all of a sudden become your tomb. You stare into this void...you stare...and stare...and try to make out what it was that made that noise, and you eventually see the sleeve slide off the handle and "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!! IT'S A GOT-DAMNED MONSTER!!!" *BANG!* under your sheets you go to hide, where you are nearly pissing your pants, and you do your best to stay awake until the sun comes up.
Now, as a child, you'll eventually fall asleep, and awaken and wearily open your closet door to find nothing there. But, now the bug has been planted. "There's something in there!" Now your room doesn't feel so bright and happy. You don't see it as Disneyland anymore. More like a torture chamber of doom that some horrible beast is going to jump out and chew off your little cocktail shrimp sized weenie. (I'm a boy, we think of weird shit like that)
=
Now, this is where I like to relay my 90%-10% view on life. You see, that closet consumed that kid...one little fucking thing...consumed his thoughts, his day, his life...and, after checking to see if there was something there, and finding nothing, all he had to do was reassure himself nothing was there, and move on. But, something that was 10% of his day, became 100% thereafter.
Here's where we do this with adults. Say for instance you hear at Church that it's wrong to be gay. You'd never heard that, but you hear it from your Pastor/Preacher/Priest. You go home, and type into Google: Being Gay is Wrong...and KABOOM!!...a million things pop up and you start reading it. You read it into the night, and go to bed thinking about it. Now, you've piqued your interest, and you go back to some of those pages you visited the previous night, at work the next day. The more you read things from "People that know this for a fact" (self proclaimed), the more you feel like YOU know it as fact as well. Now, you start asking around, and find similar minded people to talk about it with. The next thing you know...you're at ant-homosexual rallies spouting bigoted verbality at anyone that will listen.
You had a perfectly happy life. Full of love, happiness, and kindness...and the Negativity consumed you to the point that you forgot about the 90%, and started focusing on the monster in the closet.
=
I see the same thing happen with my friends that are unemployed, or just out of a loving relationship that suddenly failed, or their life just isn't going the way they want. But, they have a friend like me to turn to...a good friend...that's 10% on it's own. They normally have family, that's 10%. A roof over your head -> 10%....and the numbers keep adding up. But, it's that Negative 10% that keeps their attention. I've written blogs before about how these fucked up partners in relationships find a man or woman that is 90% of what they wanted, but they fart in their sleep, or watch Jersey Shore, or some other knuckle dragging nonsense...and, that 10% encompasses them to the point that they start looking for someone that has the 10% that the person that they're with is missing, and eventually leave 90% for the 10% person, and finish unhappy and realize they fucked up when it's too late.
Look cock-knot, we all have a miserable beast in our closet. The best thing to do, is to nut up, and get your weak minded ass out of bed and kick the fucking door shut with authority, and choose happiness/positivity. Because if you walk through life looking into the closet, you're never going to play with your toys, paint your room, hug your parents, or crank on your noodle the same way again. You're constantly going to be looking over your shoulder at that crack in the door and peering inside to see that lack of a job, or that broken heart, or that exploded fuck doll. (or whatever else saddens you)
I know, I know...it's harder than it sounds...but, Tomorrow's big brother is Today, and what Today says...Tomorrow will listen to.
So, do me a favor, and stop hating others. Stop dragging yourself through the mud. Stop focusing on shit that really has nothing that directly effects your day-to-day reality. Other people have their own demons to fight, without you being another one. Because, when you hate, or your down, or when you are just a fuckhole altogether...you sprout horns, grow a tail, and become one of those raging hatemongers, and who wants that to be their legacy?
Kick that door shut. Live in the light. Embrace love. Duct tape that hole in your fuck doll and get back to plowing it, because Tomorrow just told me that Today said "I may not be at the party tomorrow, so toss one back for me!"
I love you all. You inspire me to write. You give my mind a constant workout. And, some of you give me a reason to rub one out. So, to all of you, thank you...you make my heart love more, my brain more intelligent and my....well....we'll leave it at that.
Monsterously yours,
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
RELEASE THE KRAKHEAD!!!!
....see what I did there?....<~~ It's a "Release the Kraken!!" joke....ahhhhh..fuck you, it's funny....
Here's something I haven't touched on in awhile, but really pulls my ball hair.
Self Proclaimed Geniuses/Bitches/Trendsetters/Party Animals....also known as...complete fucking idiots.
Let me start with the one that annoys me beyond all measure. The "Bitch".
"I can go from Zero to Bitch in 1 second flat!" "If being a bitch is what it takes for me to make my point clear, then I guess that's what I'll have to be." and, so on...you all know the person I'm talking about. The female (and sometimes queeny gay guy) that thinks she's being assertive, and aggressive, and Alpha, when all she is proving is her inability to articulate herself well enough to get her pro-idiot point across. "I get called a bitch a lot, but that just shows I stand up for myself." No, it fucking doesn't, it shows you are of inferior intellect and you think that yelling and being condescending will make you feel superior to the person you're locking horns with. When in all actuality, you feel threatened by said person, or else you wouldn't have to act in such a disgusting manner.
Look, no one likes to be made to look a fool. No one, but being a raging cunt only separates you further from the intellectual point you're trying to make to begin with. If you feel that you're a "bad ass", then you're not only mistaken, but also immature in your thought process. Because, life isn't about who can "out-bitch" the person next to you. It's about right and wrong. It's about moral and immoral. It's about being a fucking idiot, and being fucking smart.
Which, brings me to Fucktard Classification #2:
The Self Proclaimed Genius (also known as, someone being "Google Smart")
I will start with a quote from Neil deGrasse Tyson: "With automatic spell checkers running unleashed over what we compose, our era is that of correctly spelled typos."
Yet, you get this onslaught of people that constantly post something to their facebook or twitter accounts that is witty or whimsical that someone else thought up. Whether it's text on an image that says "Fuck This Monday! I'm Ready For Friday!" or a quote by some author or philosopher that they'd never heard of until they'd seen it on someone that they deem "Their Smart Friend"'s wall, and stole it for their own, these people run amok among us. Now, here's where these basement dwellers become scary; They are also the kind of fool that gives out medical advice to people that they drummed up from multitudes of sites they've perused over the internet.
Say, for shits-n-tickles that you have a headache. But, this is no NORMAL headache, it's the headache that puckered your asshole into your lungs. So, you text Fucktardio and ask "You ever had a headache that puckered your asshole into your lungs?" Well, Fucktardio, being the person that he is wants to impress with his superior intellect and begins zipping from site to site with his keywords. "Headache" "Extreme" "Fucking Awful" "Pucker"....what-the-fuck-ever..."Yeah bro, you've got a tumor. You see, my great uncle's aunt was a doctor on my Mom's side, and I was bestowed with all her wisdom. So, trust me, I'm not wrong on this." and then Fucktardio has planted the seed of stupidity into your inferior brain. The problem with the internet is this: There's a difference between fact, information, and news. Any cock-knot can post on a message board, and say he's a Board Certified Physician. (spell check helped him spell all those words, otherwise it would have come out Bored Country Fried Fission) So, you, being Fucktardio, go to this message board and see that this cunt bubble has posted some information for another person that has a similar problem to what you're searching for. You take this as gospel, and go forth with your newfound information, and pollute the world with it. When, all the while, if you would have just said "No fucking clue dude. Go see a doctor like a big boy should." everything would have been fine. After all, your 2 minute Google search is OBVIOUSLY just as reassuring as 12 years of Medical Training.
But, the assholery doesn't stop there. Oh no!! These are the people that ramble adamantly in your face about the most ignorant of shit. Or, if you bring up a topic of discussion, of something...let's say...that they just watched a special on Discovery about, then you have to listen to them correct you, and or "school you" on whatever it is that makes them feel superior. But, as soon as their 1 hours worth of knowledge (including their 15 seconds of knowledge on the new Tide with Bleach...because, let's face it, their knowledge came with commercials) is over, then you get the "guessing" of what it is, and they will fight and argue their point, whether it be true, or not, because they refuse to lose face in such a topic that they just OWNED in their mind. They will bark, embellish, talk over, make fun of your new shirt, or whatever they need to do, just to detract from their lack of information.
Speaking of new shirts...I want to give a massive FUCK YOU!!!! to Ed Hardy and his disgusting and atrocious clothing, and a big THANK YOU!!! to time for slowly making it uncool to wear it.
Trendy-Ass-Posers!!!
By definition, a Poser is: "One who attempts to appear to others as something they are not, especially by their manner of dress; a charlatan". We have in L.A. a time of year we call "Poser Season"....okay, I say "We.", but I mean "Me." It's basically that time of year that Pilot's are being shot. There's a massive influx of 17 to 25 year olds that are looking to be famous, fit in, and be the coolest kid in Hollywood. When, in all actuality, they're just in a pissing contest with one another. Crocs, Ed Hardy, Von Dutch, Juicy Couture, and whatever name brand you can throw at them. They spend more money on trying to be cool, than they do trying to succeed. "I'm wearing sarongs now. Yeah, it's the new thing." Is it reallllllly asshole? Why is it the new thing? Because we're so dumbed down as a society now that we need to look to other cultures to bite off their traditional dress to make a statement?
But, it doesn't stop with clothes. It's their coffee. Their hair products. Their music. It's always so obscure that you just want to punch them. Look, I admit that some things are "better" if they're purchased off the map. But, I don't shove it down everyone's throat I see so that they know I am a "trendsetter".
Here's a laugher. So, I was in Denver a few years back, and my best friend took me to a bar that his wife was dancing at (not that kind of dancing, it was a belly dancing thing, for fuck's sake people, i do have friends with some class after all), and everyone in this joint had those nasty white people dreadlocks and it smelled of patchouli. This broad (waitress) comes over to the table and hands me a one page paper menu and it PROUDLY proclaims at the top that this is an ORGANIC bar. Cool....no problem...
I order a vodka martini when the most annoying and troubling thing comes out of this chicks mouth: "Well, just so you know, our vodka is organic. And, we don't accept credit cards, only checks."
Okay, stooge, you're telling me, rather than me having a piece of plastic that I hold onto for AT LEAST 4 years at a time, cut up at the end, and put in the recycle bin...is somehow WORSE than cutting down thousands, and millions of trees, to make into little pieces of paper that will just get thrown away? Am I missing something here? The lengths that people will go to, just to seem "More organic"...or, in my eyes "cooler and more passionate about life" than the next person, simply amazes me.
And, after all that, I bring myself to my final fuckhole:
The Self Proclaimed Party Animal
This is the person that (male or female) will fit into one of two categories: 1) They know all the cool bars. They know every trendy hotspot for clubs (of which makes them bleed over into the previous category), where the neatest after hours places are, and where everyone is meeting for breakfast. Usually this person has a RotoDial of Skanks and Posers that they can call at any moment and will be at their side. They pretend (or possibly do) know every doorman and bartender, and will consistently let you know so. They throw money around "Even though I don't have to. They know me so well here, I could get comped all night if I wanted.", and do their best to be 'seen'. Or: 2) The person that once had a fairly social life, that hasn't for years, but still proclaims shit like "LET'S TEAR THIS CITY DOWN!!!" when you go out to happy hour. Or "BRO!! I'm going to drink you under the table!!", when you haven't been out with this person in months. Look, dick hole, I'm sorry you had 5 kids, and have a mortgage now, but that doesn't mean you need to try and recapture your youth by excreting pure idiocy from your pores every time we walk through the doors of a bar. You screaming at me and saying "YOU READY FOR SHOTS?!?!?!" does not make a space/time wormhole magically appear around us and scoot us back to a dorm room in college. It looks sad, and desperate and you need to just learn to be secure with your position. And, for the record....No......you fucking can't......[in reference to drinking me under the table: I am a professional drinker, and I should never be challenged, or I shall be forced to expose my true super power]
All-in-all, there's just a multitude of moron in this world lately. I attribute it to this....and, you're going to need to follow me here, it's going to get tricky:
Say, you have an A level student. Pure genius. Knows the subject matter backwards and forwards and is well versed on the whole topic.
This person teaches a class, and a student that also wants to be a teacher/professor (just assume everyone wants to teach after this point), and passes the class with a C.
Okay, so you have a C level student that graduates, and is now teaching students. This teacher teaches a class, and the next kid makes a C in his class. So, what is a C in this class, would have undoubtedly been an F in the first person's class. Yet, he passes, and HE becomes a teacher. Then, you have an ongoing trickle down effect or morons. When, inevitably, you have a knuckle dragging cave dweller teaching a class that he shouldn't even be allowed to collect the garbage for. And, here lies the conundrum...how do we recapture the intellect we once had? Is it a lack of passion? Or just laziness? Is it a lack of knowledge that we're all becoming inferior humans? Or, is it just that we know, but don't give a fuck?
Regardless of what it is, I think that we need to have more people creating quotable quotes, and less people reposting someone elses intelligent quips. We need less people biting off someone elses flavor, and more innovators. We just need to wise up, and start being better humans again.
When we start having a generation of kids that act like drug addicts, without actually taking the drugs, then we have a problem. I don't want to grow old with some kid that watched Jersey Shore all the way through college as President.
We already elected one retard. Isn't that enough?
Anyhow, go read a book, or take a class, or just open your mind to the fact that you're more than the clothes you wear, the labels that surround you, and the quotes your rip off. You're a unique human. One squiggly spooge that made it to an egg. So, stand up, have some pride, and don't ACT smarter...MAKE yourself smarter.
And, please, put down the fucking phone when I ask you a question you don't know...I know you have google on quick launch. Idiot.
Moronically yours,
Knuckles
Here's something I haven't touched on in awhile, but really pulls my ball hair.
Self Proclaimed Geniuses/Bitches/Trendsetters/Party Animals....also known as...complete fucking idiots.
Let me start with the one that annoys me beyond all measure. The "Bitch".
"I can go from Zero to Bitch in 1 second flat!" "If being a bitch is what it takes for me to make my point clear, then I guess that's what I'll have to be." and, so on...you all know the person I'm talking about. The female (and sometimes queeny gay guy) that thinks she's being assertive, and aggressive, and Alpha, when all she is proving is her inability to articulate herself well enough to get her pro-idiot point across. "I get called a bitch a lot, but that just shows I stand up for myself." No, it fucking doesn't, it shows you are of inferior intellect and you think that yelling and being condescending will make you feel superior to the person you're locking horns with. When in all actuality, you feel threatened by said person, or else you wouldn't have to act in such a disgusting manner.
Look, no one likes to be made to look a fool. No one, but being a raging cunt only separates you further from the intellectual point you're trying to make to begin with. If you feel that you're a "bad ass", then you're not only mistaken, but also immature in your thought process. Because, life isn't about who can "out-bitch" the person next to you. It's about right and wrong. It's about moral and immoral. It's about being a fucking idiot, and being fucking smart.
Which, brings me to Fucktard Classification #2:
The Self Proclaimed Genius (also known as, someone being "Google Smart")
I will start with a quote from Neil deGrasse Tyson: "With automatic spell checkers running unleashed over what we compose, our era is that of correctly spelled typos."
Yet, you get this onslaught of people that constantly post something to their facebook or twitter accounts that is witty or whimsical that someone else thought up. Whether it's text on an image that says "Fuck This Monday! I'm Ready For Friday!" or a quote by some author or philosopher that they'd never heard of until they'd seen it on someone that they deem "Their Smart Friend"'s wall, and stole it for their own, these people run amok among us. Now, here's where these basement dwellers become scary; They are also the kind of fool that gives out medical advice to people that they drummed up from multitudes of sites they've perused over the internet.
Say, for shits-n-tickles that you have a headache. But, this is no NORMAL headache, it's the headache that puckered your asshole into your lungs. So, you text Fucktardio and ask "You ever had a headache that puckered your asshole into your lungs?" Well, Fucktardio, being the person that he is wants to impress with his superior intellect and begins zipping from site to site with his keywords. "Headache" "Extreme" "Fucking Awful" "Pucker"....what-the-fuck-ever..."Yeah bro, you've got a tumor. You see, my great uncle's aunt was a doctor on my Mom's side, and I was bestowed with all her wisdom. So, trust me, I'm not wrong on this." and then Fucktardio has planted the seed of stupidity into your inferior brain. The problem with the internet is this: There's a difference between fact, information, and news. Any cock-knot can post on a message board, and say he's a Board Certified Physician. (spell check helped him spell all those words, otherwise it would have come out Bored Country Fried Fission) So, you, being Fucktardio, go to this message board and see that this cunt bubble has posted some information for another person that has a similar problem to what you're searching for. You take this as gospel, and go forth with your newfound information, and pollute the world with it. When, all the while, if you would have just said "No fucking clue dude. Go see a doctor like a big boy should." everything would have been fine. After all, your 2 minute Google search is OBVIOUSLY just as reassuring as 12 years of Medical Training.
But, the assholery doesn't stop there. Oh no!! These are the people that ramble adamantly in your face about the most ignorant of shit. Or, if you bring up a topic of discussion, of something...let's say...that they just watched a special on Discovery about, then you have to listen to them correct you, and or "school you" on whatever it is that makes them feel superior. But, as soon as their 1 hours worth of knowledge (including their 15 seconds of knowledge on the new Tide with Bleach...because, let's face it, their knowledge came with commercials) is over, then you get the "guessing" of what it is, and they will fight and argue their point, whether it be true, or not, because they refuse to lose face in such a topic that they just OWNED in their mind. They will bark, embellish, talk over, make fun of your new shirt, or whatever they need to do, just to detract from their lack of information.
Speaking of new shirts...I want to give a massive FUCK YOU!!!! to Ed Hardy and his disgusting and atrocious clothing, and a big THANK YOU!!! to time for slowly making it uncool to wear it.
Trendy-Ass-Posers!!!
By definition, a Poser is: "One who attempts to appear to others as something they are not, especially by their manner of dress; a charlatan". We have in L.A. a time of year we call "Poser Season"....okay, I say "We.", but I mean "Me." It's basically that time of year that Pilot's are being shot. There's a massive influx of 17 to 25 year olds that are looking to be famous, fit in, and be the coolest kid in Hollywood. When, in all actuality, they're just in a pissing contest with one another. Crocs, Ed Hardy, Von Dutch, Juicy Couture, and whatever name brand you can throw at them. They spend more money on trying to be cool, than they do trying to succeed. "I'm wearing sarongs now. Yeah, it's the new thing." Is it reallllllly asshole? Why is it the new thing? Because we're so dumbed down as a society now that we need to look to other cultures to bite off their traditional dress to make a statement?
But, it doesn't stop with clothes. It's their coffee. Their hair products. Their music. It's always so obscure that you just want to punch them. Look, I admit that some things are "better" if they're purchased off the map. But, I don't shove it down everyone's throat I see so that they know I am a "trendsetter".
Here's a laugher. So, I was in Denver a few years back, and my best friend took me to a bar that his wife was dancing at (not that kind of dancing, it was a belly dancing thing, for fuck's sake people, i do have friends with some class after all), and everyone in this joint had those nasty white people dreadlocks and it smelled of patchouli. This broad (waitress) comes over to the table and hands me a one page paper menu and it PROUDLY proclaims at the top that this is an ORGANIC bar. Cool....no problem...
I order a vodka martini when the most annoying and troubling thing comes out of this chicks mouth: "Well, just so you know, our vodka is organic. And, we don't accept credit cards, only checks."
Okay, stooge, you're telling me, rather than me having a piece of plastic that I hold onto for AT LEAST 4 years at a time, cut up at the end, and put in the recycle bin...is somehow WORSE than cutting down thousands, and millions of trees, to make into little pieces of paper that will just get thrown away? Am I missing something here? The lengths that people will go to, just to seem "More organic"...or, in my eyes "cooler and more passionate about life" than the next person, simply amazes me.
And, after all that, I bring myself to my final fuckhole:
The Self Proclaimed Party Animal
This is the person that (male or female) will fit into one of two categories: 1) They know all the cool bars. They know every trendy hotspot for clubs (of which makes them bleed over into the previous category), where the neatest after hours places are, and where everyone is meeting for breakfast. Usually this person has a RotoDial of Skanks and Posers that they can call at any moment and will be at their side. They pretend (or possibly do) know every doorman and bartender, and will consistently let you know so. They throw money around "Even though I don't have to. They know me so well here, I could get comped all night if I wanted.", and do their best to be 'seen'. Or: 2) The person that once had a fairly social life, that hasn't for years, but still proclaims shit like "LET'S TEAR THIS CITY DOWN!!!" when you go out to happy hour. Or "BRO!! I'm going to drink you under the table!!", when you haven't been out with this person in months. Look, dick hole, I'm sorry you had 5 kids, and have a mortgage now, but that doesn't mean you need to try and recapture your youth by excreting pure idiocy from your pores every time we walk through the doors of a bar. You screaming at me and saying "YOU READY FOR SHOTS?!?!?!" does not make a space/time wormhole magically appear around us and scoot us back to a dorm room in college. It looks sad, and desperate and you need to just learn to be secure with your position. And, for the record....No......you fucking can't......[in reference to drinking me under the table: I am a professional drinker, and I should never be challenged, or I shall be forced to expose my true super power]
All-in-all, there's just a multitude of moron in this world lately. I attribute it to this....and, you're going to need to follow me here, it's going to get tricky:
Say, you have an A level student. Pure genius. Knows the subject matter backwards and forwards and is well versed on the whole topic.
This person teaches a class, and a student that also wants to be a teacher/professor (just assume everyone wants to teach after this point), and passes the class with a C.
Okay, so you have a C level student that graduates, and is now teaching students. This teacher teaches a class, and the next kid makes a C in his class. So, what is a C in this class, would have undoubtedly been an F in the first person's class. Yet, he passes, and HE becomes a teacher. Then, you have an ongoing trickle down effect or morons. When, inevitably, you have a knuckle dragging cave dweller teaching a class that he shouldn't even be allowed to collect the garbage for. And, here lies the conundrum...how do we recapture the intellect we once had? Is it a lack of passion? Or just laziness? Is it a lack of knowledge that we're all becoming inferior humans? Or, is it just that we know, but don't give a fuck?
Regardless of what it is, I think that we need to have more people creating quotable quotes, and less people reposting someone elses intelligent quips. We need less people biting off someone elses flavor, and more innovators. We just need to wise up, and start being better humans again.
When we start having a generation of kids that act like drug addicts, without actually taking the drugs, then we have a problem. I don't want to grow old with some kid that watched Jersey Shore all the way through college as President.
We already elected one retard. Isn't that enough?
Anyhow, go read a book, or take a class, or just open your mind to the fact that you're more than the clothes you wear, the labels that surround you, and the quotes your rip off. You're a unique human. One squiggly spooge that made it to an egg. So, stand up, have some pride, and don't ACT smarter...MAKE yourself smarter.
And, please, put down the fucking phone when I ask you a question you don't know...I know you have google on quick launch. Idiot.
Moronically yours,
Knuckles
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Rocky Balboa wasn't Mexican....and Black Porn can't be made with Asians...
Can you hear that?....listen closely...it's the sounds of the gloves coming off! It's time for some bare Knuckles!!
I just read something that blew my skirt up. Turned me into a Mary, and I screamed like a bitch. (no feminists, not like a female, like a pansy assed man) I'm talking
about...
THIS!!
AHHHH!!!! A chick sued the Lord of the Rings STUDIOS for RACISM!!
Okay, as a former actor, I take A LOT of beef with this! There is just so much wrong with that. I was turned down so many times for my weight, my height, my hair, my eyes, my teeth, my skin color, my....my....MYYYY!!!....because....*drum roll* I WASN'T RIGHT FOR THE FUCKING PART!!!
Look, Harry Potter wasn't Filipino. He was a white British kid, that lived in the space under some stairs. Rocky was Italian-American. White Guy, meat-headish, boxer type. We can't recast him with Oscar De La Hoya, BECAUSE HE'S NOT ITALIAN!!!
You get what I'm selling here folks? People are "sue happy" and, because the judicial system puts up with that bullshit, the studios, the producers, and directors are afraid to be sexist, racist, or whatever....
Look, I'm 5'10" tall. My acting career went in the toilet...so, say I decided to go to porn. I read in the Valley's rag-mags...."Seeking well hung black man, over 6 feet, to slang some thang!!". Then, I show up at the audition, and lose out to....YOU GUESSED IT!!! a mandingo black man that would wrap his cock around my throat and strangle me with it if he wanted!! Because, HE WAS RIGHT FOR THE PART!!! If you picked up a porno that said "THICK BLACK COCK!!" on the front, and you watched it, and it was the Asian dude from the Hangover in it...with a regular sized weenie...you'd want your money back!
Apparently this broad didn't read the books. She wants to be a light skinned fairy elf, with blonde hair. Yet, when she gets to the audition, and the CD tells her...."Ummm....you're not a light skinned fairy elf. You're actually....Indian looking.", she decides it time to call a lawyer.
Get fucked!! I didn't audition for Harry Potter, because I'm a 30 something, tall, a little chubby, Dego!!
Grow some fucking balls Warner Bros.!! You to Peter Jackson!! I would never walk into a hospital and say "I want to apply for the Brain Surgeon job!" and then sue them when they said..."Well, sir, you're actually not a brain surgeon, and to be honest, you're not actually that bright."
Okay, maybe I'd sue them for calling me dumb....but, the other part is correct.
This world is going to hell in a hand basket! I only had books, movies, porn and music to lull me into my pre-apocalypse coma...now...it seems...I need to prepare for horrible music (thanks Justin Bieber), Kindles, and a small pricked porn star.
I know this doesn't flow as well as some of my blogs, but it was more of a spur-of-the-moment rant, rather than a blog.
Know your role folks.
Hasta luego,
Johnny
I just read something that blew my skirt up. Turned me into a Mary, and I screamed like a bitch. (no feminists, not like a female, like a pansy assed man) I'm talking
about...
THIS!!
AHHHH!!!! A chick sued the Lord of the Rings STUDIOS for RACISM!!
Okay, as a former actor, I take A LOT of beef with this! There is just so much wrong with that. I was turned down so many times for my weight, my height, my hair, my eyes, my teeth, my skin color, my....my....MYYYY!!!....because....*drum roll* I WASN'T RIGHT FOR THE FUCKING PART!!!
Look, Harry Potter wasn't Filipino. He was a white British kid, that lived in the space under some stairs. Rocky was Italian-American. White Guy, meat-headish, boxer type. We can't recast him with Oscar De La Hoya, BECAUSE HE'S NOT ITALIAN!!!
You get what I'm selling here folks? People are "sue happy" and, because the judicial system puts up with that bullshit, the studios, the producers, and directors are afraid to be sexist, racist, or whatever....
Look, I'm 5'10" tall. My acting career went in the toilet...so, say I decided to go to porn. I read in the Valley's rag-mags...."Seeking well hung black man, over 6 feet, to slang some thang!!". Then, I show up at the audition, and lose out to....YOU GUESSED IT!!! a mandingo black man that would wrap his cock around my throat and strangle me with it if he wanted!! Because, HE WAS RIGHT FOR THE PART!!! If you picked up a porno that said "THICK BLACK COCK!!" on the front, and you watched it, and it was the Asian dude from the Hangover in it...with a regular sized weenie...you'd want your money back!
Apparently this broad didn't read the books. She wants to be a light skinned fairy elf, with blonde hair. Yet, when she gets to the audition, and the CD tells her...."Ummm....you're not a light skinned fairy elf. You're actually....Indian looking.", she decides it time to call a lawyer.
Get fucked!! I didn't audition for Harry Potter, because I'm a 30 something, tall, a little chubby, Dego!!
Grow some fucking balls Warner Bros.!! You to Peter Jackson!! I would never walk into a hospital and say "I want to apply for the Brain Surgeon job!" and then sue them when they said..."Well, sir, you're actually not a brain surgeon, and to be honest, you're not actually that bright."
Okay, maybe I'd sue them for calling me dumb....but, the other part is correct.
This world is going to hell in a hand basket! I only had books, movies, porn and music to lull me into my pre-apocalypse coma...now...it seems...I need to prepare for horrible music (thanks Justin Bieber), Kindles, and a small pricked porn star.
I know this doesn't flow as well as some of my blogs, but it was more of a spur-of-the-moment rant, rather than a blog.
Know your role folks.
Hasta luego,
Johnny
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
A fistful of fistfuckery....just for you...
The day has come, you're in the office, the hot guy that you've noticed checking you out once or twice has finally started approaching your desk, he has two cups of coffee in his hands. "Hey, I didn't know if you took yours with cream or sugar, so I brought both.". You giggle, and take the coffee, and talk about passing thoughts about office behavior, and then you get a text message; "Hey honey, I changed the oil in your car yesterday because it was running low, and put air in your tires, did you notice it running any smoother?" You ignore it for now, and go back to the hot guy standing in front of you.
RED FLAG!!!
Look ladies, I of all people know that there is plenty of sweater meat in society. Hell, while living in L.A., there were more hot chicks than my whiplashed neck allowed me to look at, but one thing we've lost touch is....the effort a person that truly loves you, makes.
And, sadly, manly men...have a harder time expressing such emotion to you, that you seem to bypass such actions as 'non-efforts' or rudimentary.
Example: (let's go back a few years) You're in high school, and there's a guy that has noticed you from afar for the last two years. He has asked your friends what your favorite music is, and what groups and songs you like from each. He then proceeds to make you a mix tape. In the music world, this guy would be known for doing R&D. Here, it's a crush.
You're talking to Captain McRoid, the quarterback from the football team. "Yeah, I took state last year, but I think if I'm going to go pro, I need to step my game up." "That's interest..." "Hey, excuse me, I have been waiting to find a time when you're alone, but you seem to be always surrounded by someone, so...I just wanted to give this to you, and say I made it for you." "Thanks." "So, McRoid...what were you saying?"
Yes, it's extreme...but, it leads to bad behavior....like....pushing a girl in high school for a dude, usually leads to a wife beater in the future. Lack of acknowledgment of overwhelming actions, can lead to the demise of effort on the others behalf, lack of interest from your side, and even worse....you not being able to ever be satisfied by anothers actions.
Your significant other changed your oil, because he wants you safe. He wants you to be able to come home to him nightly, to the comfort of his arms. He watches action movies and imagines protecting you like Jason Statham, or Sylvester Stallone, and so when he gets done watching those, he starts telling you about the only fight he's ever been in, because he wants you to feel that he's your heroine, and you're his princess. He jerks off to porn...as odd as this one sounds for you ladies, because he doesn't want to be like the multitude of men out in this world that cheat on their wives by anything that moves. He tugs one out, so that he's not tempted to leave the woman he loves, by his damn 'other brain' outweighing his heartfelt one.
We men....we are an odd bunch, I'll give you that...we do some dumb shit, and sometimes admit to it, but moreso than that...we do a lot of dumb shit in your name. We act macho, to get your attention, to be your Alpha...we download a song illegally off the internet, because we want to show you, "I'd go to jail for you.", and we do some off the wall shit...to try and prevent McRoid from garnishing your attention.
Which means more to you, the guy that opens the door, or the super hot guy on the other side that says "Damn, you look hot!"....words....words are easy....efforts, efforts are what set us aside from others.
So, ladies, the next time you're in a situation where a man does something for you (unless you paid him for it), think and rethink where this is coming from. Think about how much time and effort he put into it, and think about what kind of response he's looking for, because if you start pushing his efforts aside as simple 'tasks', then he'll find someone that will appreciate the effort he puts forth.
This also goes vice versa...girls going to action flicks with their man...going to Hooters to watch UFC...watching Sunday and Monday Night Football....men need to pay attention too.
Well, that summarizes that....and so, the next time your man talks of tugging one out...don't go to the chick thought, "Is he tired of having sex with me? Is he attracted to all those girls on the internet?" No, he wants to stay faithful to you...and, that's his way of showing you so.
Tuggingly yours,
Johnny
RED FLAG!!!
Look ladies, I of all people know that there is plenty of sweater meat in society. Hell, while living in L.A., there were more hot chicks than my whiplashed neck allowed me to look at, but one thing we've lost touch is....the effort a person that truly loves you, makes.
And, sadly, manly men...have a harder time expressing such emotion to you, that you seem to bypass such actions as 'non-efforts' or rudimentary.
Example: (let's go back a few years) You're in high school, and there's a guy that has noticed you from afar for the last two years. He has asked your friends what your favorite music is, and what groups and songs you like from each. He then proceeds to make you a mix tape. In the music world, this guy would be known for doing R&D. Here, it's a crush.
You're talking to Captain McRoid, the quarterback from the football team. "Yeah, I took state last year, but I think if I'm going to go pro, I need to step my game up." "That's interest..." "Hey, excuse me, I have been waiting to find a time when you're alone, but you seem to be always surrounded by someone, so...I just wanted to give this to you, and say I made it for you." "Thanks." "So, McRoid...what were you saying?"
Yes, it's extreme...but, it leads to bad behavior....like....pushing a girl in high school for a dude, usually leads to a wife beater in the future. Lack of acknowledgment of overwhelming actions, can lead to the demise of effort on the others behalf, lack of interest from your side, and even worse....you not being able to ever be satisfied by anothers actions.
Your significant other changed your oil, because he wants you safe. He wants you to be able to come home to him nightly, to the comfort of his arms. He watches action movies and imagines protecting you like Jason Statham, or Sylvester Stallone, and so when he gets done watching those, he starts telling you about the only fight he's ever been in, because he wants you to feel that he's your heroine, and you're his princess. He jerks off to porn...as odd as this one sounds for you ladies, because he doesn't want to be like the multitude of men out in this world that cheat on their wives by anything that moves. He tugs one out, so that he's not tempted to leave the woman he loves, by his damn 'other brain' outweighing his heartfelt one.
We men....we are an odd bunch, I'll give you that...we do some dumb shit, and sometimes admit to it, but moreso than that...we do a lot of dumb shit in your name. We act macho, to get your attention, to be your Alpha...we download a song illegally off the internet, because we want to show you, "I'd go to jail for you.", and we do some off the wall shit...to try and prevent McRoid from garnishing your attention.
Which means more to you, the guy that opens the door, or the super hot guy on the other side that says "Damn, you look hot!"....words....words are easy....efforts, efforts are what set us aside from others.
So, ladies, the next time you're in a situation where a man does something for you (unless you paid him for it), think and rethink where this is coming from. Think about how much time and effort he put into it, and think about what kind of response he's looking for, because if you start pushing his efforts aside as simple 'tasks', then he'll find someone that will appreciate the effort he puts forth.
This also goes vice versa...girls going to action flicks with their man...going to Hooters to watch UFC...watching Sunday and Monday Night Football....men need to pay attention too.
Well, that summarizes that....and so, the next time your man talks of tugging one out...don't go to the chick thought, "Is he tired of having sex with me? Is he attracted to all those girls on the internet?" No, he wants to stay faithful to you...and, that's his way of showing you so.
Tuggingly yours,
Johnny
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