...Okay, okay, so I know it's the Yin to my Yang. But, this is where I give you the meat of my rant for today. Honestly, today is not so much a rant, as it is a subtle nudge in the ribs of women everywhere to shake them to their senses, and let them realize a good thing when they have it. The following paragraphs will intrigue women and men alike, and will anger those that it hits too close to home for, and inspire those with a little bit of common sense. Let the pissing off......begin:
For the last few years I've witnessed the most amazing vastness of emotions. The full color of the rainbow. My friends are a great group that share with me their pains, sorrows, and emotional roller coasters, and so that helps with my insight. I believe it is because we are at a transitional age. The 30's now are the new 20's which is true. We age slower, and fuckin' hell do we act more immature than our parents did at 30. And, so, where our parents were trying to find life partners at 20, we're trying to find that "certain someone" in our 30's. That someone we can talk to for hours. To hold our hand when we feel alone, and to talk about our favorite book or movie when there's no one else around. As stated, the Yin to our Yang: Definition of Yin-Yang: This Symbol(Yin-Yang) represents the ancient Chinese understanding of how things work. The outer circle represents "everything", while the black and white shapes within the circle represent the interaction of two energies, called "yin" (black) and "yang" (white), which cause everything to happen. They are not completely black or white, just as things in life are not completely black or white, and they cannot exist without each other.
While "yin" would be dark, passive, downward, cold, contracting, and weak, "yang" would be bright, active, upward, hot, expanding, and strong. The shape of the yin and yang sections of the symbol, actually gives you a sense of the continual movement of these two energies, yin to yang and yang to yin, causing everything to happen: just as things expand and contract, and temperature changes from hot to cold. We search the world to find someone that compliments us in areas we are weak in, and we do our best to keep that person, and here comes the shitty part...
I've noticed an overwhelming amount of women that no longer appreciate the amount of effort guys give to show their love. For example: I just spoke with a friend that said; "It's like this man, the day that Sex and the City the movie came out, I went and bought it for her, and then went to buy a bottle of wine for BOTH OF US to drink while we watched it. I don't mind making those kinds of efforts, but not once, EVER has she picked up a Bruce Lee movie, or Die Hard and grabbed a six pack and brought it home to surprise me. It just sucks."
See, women here is where you fuck up. You love the attention. You bathe in the attention. From the time we're dating, into marriage, and until inevitably, there's a bump in the road, and then you start saying..."You don't take me to -fill in the blank- restaurant- anymore." "You don't write me poems anymore." "You don't rub my feet anymore." Well, guess what, we didn't just DECIDE to stop doing these things, and here's where I explain the Good Guy Mentality.
We know you women like talking to your girlfriends about what we do for you. "He cooked me my favorite salmon dish last night, and he got my favorite movie, and he bought a bottle of wine, and it was SO romantic!", because, without a doubt, you like hearing "Ohhh...I wish my man would do things like that for me!"
You see, the Good Guy Mentality is simple. We're in a competition. Not with you, but with OTHER MEN!! We want to be better in bed than any man you've been with. We want to be more romantic than "Steve" or "Bob" and therefore we're CONSTANTLY thinking of new and exciting ways to impress you. This is our way of showing you how much we care/love you. Then.....after years of being the good guy....
It becomes routine. We're on autopilot, and you're used to us cooking you magnificent dinners. Asking YOU what movie you want to watch at the theater, what restaurant you want to go to, and asking what YOU want to do this weekend. Reciprocation comes far and far less, because, let's face it we're always the ones chasing you women, and rarely do you chase us.
With all this in mind, we start realizing that 90% of the game being played is YOUR game, and 10% is ours. So, the special things we do for you, become less special. They're mundane, and almost annoying, and then by the time you've figured out that we're doing them less and less, it's almost a resentment towards you for not being the YIN!!! to our Yang.
Don't get me wrong ladies, we men LOVE to spoil you. (if we love you that is, if we don't care, that's usually when you get flowers and candy...that's how you know...cooked dinner...he likes you...restaurant...you're not worth the effort...flowers...you're worth fucking...poem...you inspire him) But, without you spoiling him to a narrowly equal extent, you will unintentionally start killing even the most passionate of loves.
Money, Power, Fame....they all come and go...Love...love can be eternal. Have you ever met a man or a woman (probably not our parents age or younger, being that love is a dying emotion), but have you met someone that had their spouse pass away and still wear their wedding ring, and you ask them why and their reply is simply "Because, _____ is my wife/husband, and my soulmate and I will never love another the way I loved them."
Balance.
If you like telling your girlfriends about how amazing your man is, you had better plan on being pretty amazing for your man as well. Otherwise, he'll just complain about you to his friends, and that will not end well. When resentment exists, sex lives crumble, anger is on the brim at all times (even when it shouldn't be present) and nothing seems to shine as much as when TWO people continue to prove their love for one another.
Newton's Law of Motion states that any action has an equal and opposite reaction. And, to me, if you want a relationship to move forward, you have to keep paddling the boat. Because if just one person paddles...you finish just going in circles.
My advice: Never receive, without making a mental note to give. It doesn't have to be of any more value than 'heartfelt'. But, make love something that our kids' - kids will want to experience. Our grandmothers wanted to "Find a man that will love me forever." and so far, all I see around me are kids wanting to fuck. That's not love.
Keep love alive. Be the Yin to someone's Yang.
Most of all. Suck a dick if he eats your pussy.
Crassly yours,
Johnny
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