Growing up, (or at least my attempt to), I was never really good at musical instruments. I "played" the drums, but it was more of a rhythmic beating than me mastering an instrument. I had friends that were all great at music, but, none hold a candle to the company I keep now.
Throughout the years, I've realized the power of music. From meditation, to preparing for a night out, music is a vital part of my life. I have always admired and respected those that could create it. For instance, you can go watch a movie that takes hundreds, if not thousands of people to create it, or you can sit and listen to Mishka pluck away at his guitar and be completely engulfed in every word, of every note, to the point of being hypnotized.
Another example, is my avid fascination with friends that play the piano. One friend in particular always amazes me. The repertoire of music he has in his head makes him a one man party anywhere a piano resides. From jazz, to funk, to classical...he's got it. I admire that. But, it goes one step further. He can create a mood for a movie by creating it's score. He can tear at your heartstrings by singing a ballad of a broken heart, and accompanying it with a solemn tune.
An actor can write a script, act out the monologue, and create a tear jerking scene, but you can't necessarily do that to get pumped for a night out in Vegas, or to drown your sorrows of a recent breakup. Not to mention, what kind of fool would you be, if you were at a party, and saw a camera and just started acting in front of it? No, nothing compares to the creation, expression, and mere necessity of music.
I keep myself engulfed in music. From the time I wake up, throughout my day, until I go to sleep. I search for it, I listen to it in films, and I ask friends about it all the time. Rarely do I listen to the radio, because that is a medium telling me what music I should listen to. If a song that is there, is something I would like, I will eventually stumble upon it in one of my searches.
Music does soothe the savage beast, but it can also spark a fire, (ask anyone that has set a mood in a bedroom with Barry White, House Music, or Hip Hop).
So, to all of my musical friends out there. I tip my hat to you. You keep this world doing pirouettes, skipping to a happy tune, and pumping out that extra rep in the gym. Without your talents, this world would be a little more intolerable, and a whole lot more dry.
Keep up the good work,
Respectfully,
Johnny
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Defining That, of Which We Call Knuckles....
As previously stated, I like to be big. Not "big" in the sense of, say, needing to buy an extra seat on a United Flight, but "big" in the sense of personality, life, and actions.
Here's the reasoning behind my madness;
In my youth, I kept my head down, walked softly, and made little waves. I was bullied, talked down to, and generally just pushed around by life. I watched movies with guys that stood up for themselves, and others, and envied them, as well as admired them. They were the Superheroes of the real world. Men like John McClane of Die Hard. He was an average guy, that under pressure, became a super human. He couldn't fly. He couldn't turn invisible, but he had something inside him that made him want to save his wife, and other innocent people, because they needed it.
These "other" people are average, non-heroic, Keep Your Head Down people. They were me. I was the one being rescued, but that's not what I wanted to be. I wanted to be the guy saying "Yippee Ki Yay Motherfucker!"
So, I looked deep down inside myself, and I pulled up the whimpering, weak, timid heart that I had, and shook the living fuck out of it....
On a sidenote, it helps that I'm an Atheist at times. You see, a lot of people believe that this is just our earthbound self. They believe in eternity, and going to Heaven, and an afterlife. I don't. So, I believe this is our one shot at being the best ME that I can be. Which, helped in the creation of what you see (read) in front of you.
Back to my Boring Ass Story...
I shook the living FUCK out of myself, and said "Time to nut up, or Shut up!", and started doing little things day in, and day out, that were not typically things I would do. Standing up to people started off as a little mumble under my breath, that usually followed by a "What?" from the other person. But, in true John McClane fashion, the mumbles eventually became words, the words became sentences, and the nerves became steadied. Resulting in a defiant, strong, and stable conversation.
After learning that I could create an individual that I thought was exactly what I wanted. I no longer looked to movies for inspiration, but in turn, started looking inward. I wanted to create, in my mind, the best Johnny that I could. My own personal super human.
I had always thought intellect was a profound thing, and so I studied. I studied things that "I" wanted to study. Not for school. Not for classes. For me. Things that I wanted to know. Things that I wanted to be educated on, so that if and and when it ever came up in conversation, I'd be well versed on the subject. I'd sit in the library for hours, just reading books on the biological makeup of humans, Genghis Khan, British Parliament, Shakespeare, Religion, and a vast amount of other topics. I guess, in a way, it was a movie figure that inspired this after all, because I had envisioned how James Bond held peoples attention in conversations with knowledge of a certain topic.
Then, I realized I wanted to create. I wanted to leave behind something that was a part of me. I was a horrible artist when it came to drawing (i tried it), and painting. So, I joined Drama in high school. I was still coming into my own, and so I did Stage Craft, to just be involved. But, what was to become of that one simple move, would help mold the person I am today. I saw something in those tiny little plays that made my heart swell with a light that could illuminate the midnight sky. Acting. It painted a picture with words, with movement, with gestures, with history, love and passion!! It was a legacy waiting to happen.
But, what was to happen next, became even more obvious to the creation of me. You see, as in true "me" fashion, I became enthralled with acting and theatre. So, as it was, I spent more time reading about it. The history of theatre. The creation what acting is today. All things that piqued my interest, I would find in a book. And, then, at the same time, I started realizing something. These...words...they also paint a picture. Certain words had more weight, more vigor, more passion, than others. Certain phrases were rebellious. Certain stories were more powerful than others.
Thus, began my voyage into using these words in everyday life. People would be shocked, which interested me, by some things I'd say. It was a response to "words". I could say "Fuck." and catch an irritated look from an old woman. I could say "cunt", and garner a reply from people standing around me. And, so I began creating another part of my personality that I love...freedom of speech.
As I've said before, if you have a canvas (that is Life), and you have paint (that is words), why would you only paint in black and white? Wouldn't you want to use as many colorful words to paint the picture you desire?
A simple sentence, "Wow that movie was great.", becomes a powerful, rough, and brass sentence with "Wow that movie was fucking great." with a little more color.
I am now, the man that I wanted to be. I drink what I want, even though I didn't even start drinking until I was 22 (by choice), because I like to. I don't need to, I do it, because it is a part of the person I love to be. I write what I want. I say what I want. I do as I want. My actions my have controversial outcomes sometimes, but they are a direct result of me wanting to do what I wanted at the time, and therefor I regret nothing in doing so.
So, I smoke cigars, drink booze, swear, workout, eat right, study life, people watch, look at porn, and dissect humanity for what it is. I also stand up for the weak voiced, the silent walking, and bullied Average Joe. I created a man that is confident, articulate, intelligent, and passionate, and the benefit of that, is that I fear no confrontation, because there are only two outcomes to any situation, I will win, or I will lose, and either way, I am okay with either one. All, because, I believe that it helps me better understand myself. People are constantly searching for "themselves", but what they don't understand, is we get this one life...and instead of searching, they should be creating.
We are what we are, because of what we do. Don't let the world define you, because you can define yourself. If it feels right, do it. If it helps make you feel like "you", do it. Because, at the end of this road, there's death...and on that day, you'll want to look back and say, "I was the best me, I could be."
So, no longer do I need John McClane to be my guiding light. No longer do I need James Bond to tell me a martini is a classy drink.
Nope, I don't need any of those guys, because they're fictional, and I'm real. I'm a living, breathing super hero. I don't rescue kittens. I don't fly to burning rooftops and whisk grannies to safety...nope...I save myself, and those I love, from the mundane, and boring...I save myself from being weak, sad, and average. I still bleed. I will still die. But, I will die with the knowledge, that I conquered this cunt we call Life.
With all of that said...
Go fuck yourself...
-Knuckles
Here's the reasoning behind my madness;
In my youth, I kept my head down, walked softly, and made little waves. I was bullied, talked down to, and generally just pushed around by life. I watched movies with guys that stood up for themselves, and others, and envied them, as well as admired them. They were the Superheroes of the real world. Men like John McClane of Die Hard. He was an average guy, that under pressure, became a super human. He couldn't fly. He couldn't turn invisible, but he had something inside him that made him want to save his wife, and other innocent people, because they needed it.
These "other" people are average, non-heroic, Keep Your Head Down people. They were me. I was the one being rescued, but that's not what I wanted to be. I wanted to be the guy saying "Yippee Ki Yay Motherfucker!"
So, I looked deep down inside myself, and I pulled up the whimpering, weak, timid heart that I had, and shook the living fuck out of it....
On a sidenote, it helps that I'm an Atheist at times. You see, a lot of people believe that this is just our earthbound self. They believe in eternity, and going to Heaven, and an afterlife. I don't. So, I believe this is our one shot at being the best ME that I can be. Which, helped in the creation of what you see (read) in front of you.
Back to my Boring Ass Story...
I shook the living FUCK out of myself, and said "Time to nut up, or Shut up!", and started doing little things day in, and day out, that were not typically things I would do. Standing up to people started off as a little mumble under my breath, that usually followed by a "What?" from the other person. But, in true John McClane fashion, the mumbles eventually became words, the words became sentences, and the nerves became steadied. Resulting in a defiant, strong, and stable conversation.
After learning that I could create an individual that I thought was exactly what I wanted. I no longer looked to movies for inspiration, but in turn, started looking inward. I wanted to create, in my mind, the best Johnny that I could. My own personal super human.
I had always thought intellect was a profound thing, and so I studied. I studied things that "I" wanted to study. Not for school. Not for classes. For me. Things that I wanted to know. Things that I wanted to be educated on, so that if and and when it ever came up in conversation, I'd be well versed on the subject. I'd sit in the library for hours, just reading books on the biological makeup of humans, Genghis Khan, British Parliament, Shakespeare, Religion, and a vast amount of other topics. I guess, in a way, it was a movie figure that inspired this after all, because I had envisioned how James Bond held peoples attention in conversations with knowledge of a certain topic.
Then, I realized I wanted to create. I wanted to leave behind something that was a part of me. I was a horrible artist when it came to drawing (i tried it), and painting. So, I joined Drama in high school. I was still coming into my own, and so I did Stage Craft, to just be involved. But, what was to become of that one simple move, would help mold the person I am today. I saw something in those tiny little plays that made my heart swell with a light that could illuminate the midnight sky. Acting. It painted a picture with words, with movement, with gestures, with history, love and passion!! It was a legacy waiting to happen.
But, what was to happen next, became even more obvious to the creation of me. You see, as in true "me" fashion, I became enthralled with acting and theatre. So, as it was, I spent more time reading about it. The history of theatre. The creation what acting is today. All things that piqued my interest, I would find in a book. And, then, at the same time, I started realizing something. These...words...they also paint a picture. Certain words had more weight, more vigor, more passion, than others. Certain phrases were rebellious. Certain stories were more powerful than others.
Thus, began my voyage into using these words in everyday life. People would be shocked, which interested me, by some things I'd say. It was a response to "words". I could say "Fuck." and catch an irritated look from an old woman. I could say "cunt", and garner a reply from people standing around me. And, so I began creating another part of my personality that I love...freedom of speech.
As I've said before, if you have a canvas (that is Life), and you have paint (that is words), why would you only paint in black and white? Wouldn't you want to use as many colorful words to paint the picture you desire?
A simple sentence, "Wow that movie was great.", becomes a powerful, rough, and brass sentence with "Wow that movie was fucking great." with a little more color.
I am now, the man that I wanted to be. I drink what I want, even though I didn't even start drinking until I was 22 (by choice), because I like to. I don't need to, I do it, because it is a part of the person I love to be. I write what I want. I say what I want. I do as I want. My actions my have controversial outcomes sometimes, but they are a direct result of me wanting to do what I wanted at the time, and therefor I regret nothing in doing so.
So, I smoke cigars, drink booze, swear, workout, eat right, study life, people watch, look at porn, and dissect humanity for what it is. I also stand up for the weak voiced, the silent walking, and bullied Average Joe. I created a man that is confident, articulate, intelligent, and passionate, and the benefit of that, is that I fear no confrontation, because there are only two outcomes to any situation, I will win, or I will lose, and either way, I am okay with either one. All, because, I believe that it helps me better understand myself. People are constantly searching for "themselves", but what they don't understand, is we get this one life...and instead of searching, they should be creating.
We are what we are, because of what we do. Don't let the world define you, because you can define yourself. If it feels right, do it. If it helps make you feel like "you", do it. Because, at the end of this road, there's death...and on that day, you'll want to look back and say, "I was the best me, I could be."
So, no longer do I need John McClane to be my guiding light. No longer do I need James Bond to tell me a martini is a classy drink.
Nope, I don't need any of those guys, because they're fictional, and I'm real. I'm a living, breathing super hero. I don't rescue kittens. I don't fly to burning rooftops and whisk grannies to safety...nope...I save myself, and those I love, from the mundane, and boring...I save myself from being weak, sad, and average. I still bleed. I will still die. But, I will die with the knowledge, that I conquered this cunt we call Life.
With all of that said...
Go fuck yourself...
-Knuckles
The Creation of All That is Me Part 1
The inner make up of a man, is multifaceted. It's all a combination of actions, and results. How he carries himself throughout life, determines the end result, and ultimately how he is remembered. I try and live life large. Bigger than the average man, or what I consider the average man at least.
This includes the satisfaction of a select few friends. They equal no more than the fingers on my right hand, but they are the ones that I go above-and-beyond to insure their happiness on this planet, and in turn, insures mine as well.
One friend in particular is the subject of the first part of my "The Foundation of Me".
Throughout my time on this marble we call a planet, I've learned that you can't conquer it alone. You need an equal partnership. It can be a wife that you truly love (or husband, as the case may be), a best friend, and on the rarest of occasion, a parent.
I myself, have been blessed with a best friend.
I'm not talking about a teenager "BFF". I'm speaking of the real deal. The friend of 20 years that when people see us hang out, it's obvious we've known each other longer than we've not known each other. The kind of friend that people ask "How do I get a best friend like that?"
I'll tell you one thing, it's not easy. You have to have the perfect storm of factors. Things like; The ability to keep a secret, seeing eye-to-eye on 90% of life, willing to make efforts that are out of your comfort zone, and generally making their life a major priority of yours.
I have tried to put into words, on numerous occasions, the true nature of my friendship. I usually come up short, or finish saying something like..."I don't know, it just works."
But, I'll say this, you feel a lot better knowing that no matter what comes your way, there's two of you to attack it, and not just one. So, everything is a little less frightening. You have someone to complain to about the most mundane of things. You have someone to ask advice, that is really going to give you the bare bones of it, and not say something they are guessing you want to hear. You have a foundation that helps make you a better you.
Too often in this world, we focus on ourselves, and are selfish is so many ways. With a friend such as this, you want to give to them, what you don't give anyone else in the world, and therefore keep yourself from being overtly selfish, and make a lighter heart, mind and soul in the process.
In everyone's life, comes high times, and low times. Rich times, and poor times. Happiness, and sadness. And, yes, it sounds like a marriage...and in some ways it is...but, it's something you will grow to admire within itself. You respect the actual friendship, as well as the person. You appreciate them for whom they are, and never judge them for what they're not. You have a millions stories to tell all of the outsiders to this friendship, because when opportunity comes, this is the friend you always call upon to share the greatest of adventures.
I can say that I've jumped off cliffs, climbed mountains, hung out with celebrities, got drunk with, and pretty much conquered the planet with, my best friend.
If you don't have one, envy me. If you do have one, you know exactly where I'm coming from. Because, no matter how big my personality is...No matter how often I fuck up, succeed, fall flat, or end up in the hospital...I've got a brick that helps make up the base of that we call Johnny.
I take my hat off to that friend, the man, the soon-to-be father, and I say "Thank you." for helping to create a legacy, of that that is me.
This includes the satisfaction of a select few friends. They equal no more than the fingers on my right hand, but they are the ones that I go above-and-beyond to insure their happiness on this planet, and in turn, insures mine as well.
One friend in particular is the subject of the first part of my "The Foundation of Me".
Throughout my time on this marble we call a planet, I've learned that you can't conquer it alone. You need an equal partnership. It can be a wife that you truly love (or husband, as the case may be), a best friend, and on the rarest of occasion, a parent.
I myself, have been blessed with a best friend.
I'm not talking about a teenager "BFF". I'm speaking of the real deal. The friend of 20 years that when people see us hang out, it's obvious we've known each other longer than we've not known each other. The kind of friend that people ask "How do I get a best friend like that?"
I'll tell you one thing, it's not easy. You have to have the perfect storm of factors. Things like; The ability to keep a secret, seeing eye-to-eye on 90% of life, willing to make efforts that are out of your comfort zone, and generally making their life a major priority of yours.
I have tried to put into words, on numerous occasions, the true nature of my friendship. I usually come up short, or finish saying something like..."I don't know, it just works."
But, I'll say this, you feel a lot better knowing that no matter what comes your way, there's two of you to attack it, and not just one. So, everything is a little less frightening. You have someone to complain to about the most mundane of things. You have someone to ask advice, that is really going to give you the bare bones of it, and not say something they are guessing you want to hear. You have a foundation that helps make you a better you.
Too often in this world, we focus on ourselves, and are selfish is so many ways. With a friend such as this, you want to give to them, what you don't give anyone else in the world, and therefore keep yourself from being overtly selfish, and make a lighter heart, mind and soul in the process.
In everyone's life, comes high times, and low times. Rich times, and poor times. Happiness, and sadness. And, yes, it sounds like a marriage...and in some ways it is...but, it's something you will grow to admire within itself. You respect the actual friendship, as well as the person. You appreciate them for whom they are, and never judge them for what they're not. You have a millions stories to tell all of the outsiders to this friendship, because when opportunity comes, this is the friend you always call upon to share the greatest of adventures.
I can say that I've jumped off cliffs, climbed mountains, hung out with celebrities, got drunk with, and pretty much conquered the planet with, my best friend.
If you don't have one, envy me. If you do have one, you know exactly where I'm coming from. Because, no matter how big my personality is...No matter how often I fuck up, succeed, fall flat, or end up in the hospital...I've got a brick that helps make up the base of that we call Johnny.
I take my hat off to that friend, the man, the soon-to-be father, and I say "Thank you." for helping to create a legacy, of that that is me.
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