For the love of humanity...

As the dawn of civilization grows to a close, I sit atop my mountain and look down to the chaos that was once a noble race of beings, that have bred themselves into stupidity and idiocy. I hurl rocks at a few of them to get a reaction, but they simply look to the sky as if to find a Rock Cloud that rains pebbles. I live on this mountaintop to separate myself from the anarchy that has spilled into the streets, and flows through the worlds veins like a moronic heroine.

Okay, maybe it's not quite that dire yet, but it's getting there.

I say this, because if you notice, the people that are reproducing in our Western Society are also the same people that are against Gay Marriage, and for bombing the hell out of every country other than our own.

Intelligent people have slowly stopped having children, and busy themselves with their careers, their hobbies, and their own personal demons. Yet, the idiots of our country...of the world...are breeding like rabbits, because they don't really know how to do much else. "This goes in that...and 9 months later...a baby pops out."

So, sooner than later, the standard for what "intelligent" is, will soon be a bar that is well lowered, and the C-Level student, will be a genius. Why? When idiots outbreed the intelligent, where will the education at home, the intellectual hobbyist (star gazers, painters, musicians, poets, and writers) and, world travelers...come from? Rednecks have no desire to see the world. You ask them to write a short story, and they'll crack open a can of Coors and say, "Writin' is for faggots."

And, therefore, I propose this; For the love of humanity, let's institute an I.Q. Test for having children. If you have to have a degree to be a secretary anymore, why oh WHY can you just breed yourself a little village worth of children, without regulation or standards?

From the time you have your period, (if there were a male contraceptive, i'd say give it to them, being that they're usually the instigators in the sex), a girl has to take birth control. She finds a man, they decide to have a child, you have to go to the Intellectual Board of Preserving Humanity's Future and fill out a vast array of paperwork. (that'll scare off those people that don't like commitment) Then, you have to pass an I.Q. Test, and if you fail...you get a t-shirt that reads: "NOT SAFE FOR REPRODUCING" and they give you a slap on your tush and send you out the door.

"What-" you may say "do we do with the people that slip through the cracks of the system, and have children that aren't up to the standard?" This answer is simple. I, a firm believer in marriage equality, (if we breeders have to suffer, why shouldn't the gays?), simply say that the intelligent gay community gets the pick of the litter in the adoption circuit. This cuts down on orphans, and gives them a loving, and more importantly, an INTELLIGENT home to grow up in.

We Western Civilizations have long since needed an overhaul to our lifestyle. We treat marriage as dating, and only stay with someone as long as there's not a better option around. We have Single Serving Friends, and we're a childish, spoiled people that refuse to admit we're going downhill fast.

We don't want kids, because it "Changes things." and takes away from our freedoms. We don't want marriage, because that limits us, and makes us have to commit to something.

When 50% of my friends, haven't read a book in more than a year, and they are the ones with kids, it worries me. When my sister, who dropped out of school in the 8th grade, has 2 kids, that worries me. When the other 50% of my friends, are the ones with corporate jobs, and say they don't want to ever have kids, and yet, buy the nicest clothes, travel, and call themselves intelligent, when they act like the world is a big high school hallway, that worries me also.

As a society, we need an overhaul. As individual people, we need to reinstitute values, morals, and family.

Marriage is not dating. Children are our future, and I'm an observant asshole with a keyboard in front of me, and that my friends....is that....

Now, I'm going to go kick me a puppy, and piss on a bum...because if society is going in the toilet...I want to do it right.

One love,
Johnny

The Pop-Over....

The Pop-Over…
Okay, now, life has it's little annoyances here and there. We've all got our main bitches about those annoyances, and I'm no different. So, today I am going to voice mine on the "pop-over".

Glorified by Jerry Seinfeld on his show, the pop-over is when someone arrives to your place unannounced. Whether it be for "just a minute", or for "awhile", the pop-over to me is one of the most annoying things in life.

Something I'm sure has been around for ages, although probably not to the extent it is now due to the communal style living in apartment complexes, the annoyance is something I find non-tolerable.

To me, it's like this:
I'm sitting at home playing a video game in my underwear...(one of those days)...you haven't a care in the world. You're inside your little fortress of solitude and there's nothing that can make you feel more at ease and secure...."Knock! Knock!...*DING DONG*!! Knock! Knock!"....and it's always in that rhythm where they're trying to show you it's a 'friend' and not the UPS man or something. You know? The old Shave and a Haircut rhythm, or something similar. So, now you are pausing your game...either because the disturbance has almost got you killed, or because you really feel like a hermit and don't want to be bothered at all. There you wait, quietly, and annoyed....contemplating checking the peephole, but then the person on the other side will seriously know you're home.
Sooner or later...one of two things will happen...they will ring/knock again, or they will get the hint and leave. Then you have two options...continue your quietness or throw on some pants and ask who it is. I 99% of the time opt for option "A". Normally, after they leave you'll get a call shortly thereafter saying..."Hey man, I stopped by your place and you didn't answer."

"You wanna know why you fucking wank? It's because I was completely comfortable sitting there in my underoos and you didn't call beforehand."

Whatever happened to the common courtesy of the phone call first? "Hey Johnny, I'm in the neighborhood and wanted to see if you were home or if I could stop in for a bit." In this cell phone generation, you really have no excuse of not calling first. And, even then, if I see that you're someone I don't feel like dealing with/talking to, I'll let your ass go to voicemail.

"Why? That's rude!" You may say....

Let me put it to you simply as I can.

When I was a kid, I always wanted to be an adult. Adults were able to do what they wanted, WHEN they wanted. Which meant, if they wanted to go grocery shopping, they went grocery shopping. No need to ask someone else for permission. If your parents said..."Answer the phone." you answered the phone, if they said..."Don't answer that." you didn't answer it.
So, being that I'm an adult in my 30’s, I firmly believe that if I want to answer my damn phone, I will answer it. If I DON'T want to answer it, I won't. Simple as that.
There's nothing worse than someone telling me..."Alright, I'm going to call tomorrow around 3pm. PICK UP!!"........."What?......Did you just tell me what to do?...." Something my own parents haven't even had the right to do in 20 years...you have the audacity to try and do? Give me a break! Now I'm really not answering, just to piss you off. Then, if you waste your time coming to my door to check if I'm home, you're going to be standing outside like the derelict you are....ringing and knocking...getting more upset.

So, unless your ass is on fire, or you're shot in the foot....call first! If you call first, and I don't answer your call...don't stop by....because it probably means I don't feel like being bothered.



I'm too old for this shit.

I need a fucking island to hide on.

I JUST WANT TO PLAY MY FUCKING VIDEO GAME IN PEACE!!!!

Respectfully yours,
Johnny