Here I sit all broken hearted....tried to shit but only....sharted....
You know, there's a long of things that should end the way they're expect to. Poems. Marriage. Movies. But, most of all, friendship. Yup, motherfucking friendship. The thing that made Oprah feel woozy in her qkoozy, and made Seacrest throw the first season co-host under the bus.
Friendship, can be...a motherfucker.
Friendship is what made Tom Sawyer fuck up his trip down the river. Friendship is what made the guys of the hangover all lie to their wives. Friendship is what made Steadman not tell the world Oprah is gay.; Friendship, can define, or destroy a relationship.
I have multiple examples.
I have a friend that decided I was being rude, so stop talking to me, and then died in a car accident, and we never spoke again. I have a friend that decided I drink too much, and decided that $7 was worth risking our friendship over. I have friends that stick by me, whether it's a dead body, or a soggy carpet in the trunk....they don't ask questions, nor even look.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Sunday, February 19, 2012
With a Blog Blog here, and a Blog Blog there...
What inspires you? What makes you want to write? To paint? To exercise? When you think of inspiration, is it something you have to search for? Or is it around every corner in your life?
Inspiration to me is something that hides in plain sight. It can be elusive at times, but when I find it, it comes with a thunder. It can be a friendship, it can be a movie, it can be a book I'm reading, or it can be something as simple as the silence around me.
When I write, I try to pay forward the inspiration. You create a foundation for your future by building up those around you.
Imagine if you will, your life is a pyramid. It takes a long, long time to build the foundation. It has to be stable, well planned, and without falter. It is the key to the next level, and the level after that. While most people want to rush to get the foundation built, because all they really want is to set the final piece at the top, I tend to spend more time on my foundation. Each friend represents a brick. The stronger friends belong at the base, because they are the key to this whole thing not toppling over halfway through the process. These people are key to future inspiration, because even if you're halfway done, and you forget how to build "Strong and Steady", you can always go back to square one and see what you did right, so that you don't go wrong.
Now, once you have your pyramid built, you can admire it, and go back to individual pieces and find true inspiration in each one. The older you get, the farther along you get on your behemoth of a structure, and you know that you've had to get rid of a faulty piece here and there so that you wouldn't look down and see the whole thing falling apart, because one key piece turned out to destroy those around it.
But, with each brick, comes it's own story. It has it's own life, and it's own thoughts that are connected to it. You respect that piece for being there, and you feel better for having put forth such a great effort for it's place in your pyramid.
After you lay that last brick atop your masterpiece, you stand back, and take it all in. You see the value of what you've accomplished, and you feel content. This is what inspires me. Letting each block in my life know that it is truly a piece of my world that I cannot live without. I need them there to support me when the bricks halfway up seem to be getting loose. I need them there to help me not lose hope for the top being secured one day. But, most of all I need them there to keep me inspired. To keep me passionate about life, love, future, and all in between.
It's these friends, and family that make up my existence. It's these people that inspire me to write, to exercise, to cook fantastic meals, and to generally be a better human than I was the day before. I admire them for being better than me in certain areas of life, and that...as you may have guessed...inspires me.
So, thank you all for being such detrimental pieces to my pyramid. Thank you all for supporting me when I needed it most. Thank you all for being my strength when I was at my weakest.
But, most of all.......thank you all for, being.
Respectfully yours,
Me
Inspiration to me is something that hides in plain sight. It can be elusive at times, but when I find it, it comes with a thunder. It can be a friendship, it can be a movie, it can be a book I'm reading, or it can be something as simple as the silence around me.
When I write, I try to pay forward the inspiration. You create a foundation for your future by building up those around you.
Imagine if you will, your life is a pyramid. It takes a long, long time to build the foundation. It has to be stable, well planned, and without falter. It is the key to the next level, and the level after that. While most people want to rush to get the foundation built, because all they really want is to set the final piece at the top, I tend to spend more time on my foundation. Each friend represents a brick. The stronger friends belong at the base, because they are the key to this whole thing not toppling over halfway through the process. These people are key to future inspiration, because even if you're halfway done, and you forget how to build "Strong and Steady", you can always go back to square one and see what you did right, so that you don't go wrong.
Now, once you have your pyramid built, you can admire it, and go back to individual pieces and find true inspiration in each one. The older you get, the farther along you get on your behemoth of a structure, and you know that you've had to get rid of a faulty piece here and there so that you wouldn't look down and see the whole thing falling apart, because one key piece turned out to destroy those around it.
But, with each brick, comes it's own story. It has it's own life, and it's own thoughts that are connected to it. You respect that piece for being there, and you feel better for having put forth such a great effort for it's place in your pyramid.
After you lay that last brick atop your masterpiece, you stand back, and take it all in. You see the value of what you've accomplished, and you feel content. This is what inspires me. Letting each block in my life know that it is truly a piece of my world that I cannot live without. I need them there to support me when the bricks halfway up seem to be getting loose. I need them there to help me not lose hope for the top being secured one day. But, most of all I need them there to keep me inspired. To keep me passionate about life, love, future, and all in between.
It's these friends, and family that make up my existence. It's these people that inspire me to write, to exercise, to cook fantastic meals, and to generally be a better human than I was the day before. I admire them for being better than me in certain areas of life, and that...as you may have guessed...inspires me.
So, thank you all for being such detrimental pieces to my pyramid. Thank you all for supporting me when I needed it most. Thank you all for being my strength when I was at my weakest.
But, most of all.......thank you all for, being.
Respectfully yours,
Me
He's Probably Already Smelled Your DNA....
Lots of things happen in 20 years. The fall of the Berlin Wall. The Iraq War. 9/11. A few Olympics. But, one thing remains steadfast. My best friend. Bust my/his balls if you want, but I'm writing this to tell you all I don't take this shit for granted. How many people do you hear about nowadays talking about their bestfriend of over 20 years? 10 years? 5 years? Not many, I promise you that. For fuck's sake, you barely hear of MARRIAGES lasting over 10 anymore! So, as I respect the time, I also respect my friend. I'm the guy at the bar he gives his wallet to, so it doesn't get stolen, yet he tells me what to order when the next round is due (yet, never once asks me if I've ordered anything outside of what he's ordered, because he trusts me that much). I'm the man he tells to keep an eye on his wife, while he goes to the restroom. I'm the guy that he calls to ask advice on something he knows I know nothing about. I'm the friend he tells shit to, that he has barely told himself. - - - - Bestfriends, like us, don't exist anymore...and, it's not that I want to shove it down the world's throat, but....I want to shove it down the world's throat...It takes a certain amount of effort. It takes an uncanny amount of tolerance.(that oddly enough, once accepted, takes little to no effort to maintain) It takes an unleveled amount of trust. But, most of all, it takes a bond that most people will never feel, let alone, experience. With all that said...thank you brother...let's continue to show these fools how it's done. Let your dedication to our friendship, be a guiding light to the women that want to be my half.
You owe me a handy for this,
Knuckles
You owe me a handy for this,
Knuckles
Monday, February 13, 2012
A Fistful of Fuckery, a.k.a Valentines Day
It sure does cost a lot to show someone you love them nowadays. "Today, the holiday is big business: According to market research firm
IBIS World, Valentine's Day sales reached $17.6 billion last year; this
year's sales are expected to total $18.6 billion." [SOURCE]
Throughout my 36 years on this planet, I have witnessed many a Valentines Day. (36, to be exact) Of all of those, the only time I liked Valentines Day was when I was a kid, and got to make a Valentines Box in grade school, that you hope all kids put in Valentines for you, (especially the cute girl), and then in High School where it was your one opportunity to buy something for the crush you had, in hopes that she would be wooed and you would spend the rest of eternity snuggling and holding hands. {side note: one year, towards the end of the Atari Era, we had a busted Atari, and I gutted it, and used the slot where you put the game in, as the slot for accepting my Valentines cards, and truly felt like fucking Einstein for thinking this up}
What I failed to realize at the time was, I was feeding into the Machine, and the women (vicariously) were learning some bad habits at the same time. You see, when you are told by the television, the radio, parents, friends, magazines, newspapers, and who-the-fuck-ever else that you need to buy something to impress the person you love/crush/wannafuck, you buy into it. So, you buy this girl some flowers, but then Ted the rich kid buys her flowers that are bigger and brighter, candy, a night at the movies, and a yacht....or so it felt. Your flowers are greeted with a "Aww, thank you.", and she turns on her heel to Ted, where he says something like "Aren't you Miss Popular today?! Har, Har, Har...." and they walk off giggling.
Now, don't get me wrong, not all women buy into this bullshit. Some are intelligent, quick witted, and see past the nonsense of it all. And, to you ladies, I salute you. But, with $18.6 billion annually, it's obvious that not all women and men get the hidden agenda behind this day.
Here's my thing, I have been in a few relationships. The ones I have been in, I gave my all to them. Poetry, love notes, random calls to tell them I love them, and most of all...extravagant meals that take blood, sweat, and talent to create. These relationships, obviously, all failed. To no fault of my own of course! *cough* *cough*
But, here's where I'm going with this. Growing up poor taught me something, love isn't about one day. Love isn't about what you can buy for the other person. Love is about what you're willing to give to the one you love. Time. Effort. Passion. Enthusiasm. Trust. Dedication. Discipline.....Your Life.
This is the true test of love. You give your all. Your soul bleeds with all things you feel, and you cringe at the thought of being away from this person, and you shake with anticipation at the thought of seeing them again. You cry when you think you've hurt them, but you skip when you think you've pleased them. All things I have mentioned, are free.
Many years ago, I figured it out. The true test of love comes to this: If you were on a deserted island. No TV, no radio, no media or correspondence with the outside world...Would it be possible to be in love. To show the person you loved them, and to remain in love?
Of-fucking-COURSE it's possible!! It's just bullshit to think that you need a card to express how you feel. It's stupid to think that Jake Gyllenhaal can show her how you love her better in a movie, than you can yourself at home. It's asinine that CHOCOLATE in a heart shaped box means "I love you." when you could have wrote her (no matter how shitty) a poem and put it in her lunch for work, or on her steering wheel of her car. Make her breakfast, and make your pancakes in the shape of hearts, or sing her a love song (Sinatra preferably) in your most broken and horrible voice. But, show the woman you love, that LOVE isn't based on a diamond, a brick of gold, or an 18.6 BILLION dollar industry. It's based on 365 days a year. It's based on the fact that you know in your soul of souls that you cannot live without this woman/man and you NEED them...not want them...in your life!! So, show them.
What happens if there's a day at work called "Work Day" when everyone works harder? Do you fuck off the rest of the year, and then work super hard on Work Day? Fuck no. Stupid. You'd get fired.
Therefore, stop sucking your left thumb, pull the right one out of your ass, and Man Up!! Real men know romance. Real men know passion. Best of all (read Shakespeare, Chaucer, Poe, Keats), MEN....know Love.
Love doesn't have a dollar sign in front of it. These women that say that they want a man that can "Supply me with what I'm worth." are shallow, and empty inside, and need something more than love......
No, your woman is your Queen. You are her King. To rule over a kingdom, you have to know how to please one another, before you can please the lands.
In finishing, I leave you with this thought:
On your deathbed, you are lying there with 1 minute to live...you can open a box of chocolates, and read a card...or you can gaze into the love of your life's eyes, while squeezing their hand that somehow has molded to fit yours perfectly over the years...you choose.
Me? Well, you know Knuckles, I'll be okay. I know love. I've felt it in the cockles of my heart. I know what I'm missing, and I know what I'm looking for...but for now...
I'm going to get me a hooker and buy her some candy, and hope she gives me an extra 30 minutes for free tomorrow.
Just sayin'....
I love you all....well...most of ya's....
-Johnny
Throughout my 36 years on this planet, I have witnessed many a Valentines Day. (36, to be exact) Of all of those, the only time I liked Valentines Day was when I was a kid, and got to make a Valentines Box in grade school, that you hope all kids put in Valentines for you, (especially the cute girl), and then in High School where it was your one opportunity to buy something for the crush you had, in hopes that she would be wooed and you would spend the rest of eternity snuggling and holding hands. {side note: one year, towards the end of the Atari Era, we had a busted Atari, and I gutted it, and used the slot where you put the game in, as the slot for accepting my Valentines cards, and truly felt like fucking Einstein for thinking this up}
What I failed to realize at the time was, I was feeding into the Machine, and the women (vicariously) were learning some bad habits at the same time. You see, when you are told by the television, the radio, parents, friends, magazines, newspapers, and who-the-fuck-ever else that you need to buy something to impress the person you love/crush/wannafuck, you buy into it. So, you buy this girl some flowers, but then Ted the rich kid buys her flowers that are bigger and brighter, candy, a night at the movies, and a yacht....or so it felt. Your flowers are greeted with a "Aww, thank you.", and she turns on her heel to Ted, where he says something like "Aren't you Miss Popular today?! Har, Har, Har...." and they walk off giggling.
Now, don't get me wrong, not all women buy into this bullshit. Some are intelligent, quick witted, and see past the nonsense of it all. And, to you ladies, I salute you. But, with $18.6 billion annually, it's obvious that not all women and men get the hidden agenda behind this day.
Here's my thing, I have been in a few relationships. The ones I have been in, I gave my all to them. Poetry, love notes, random calls to tell them I love them, and most of all...extravagant meals that take blood, sweat, and talent to create. These relationships, obviously, all failed. To no fault of my own of course! *cough* *cough*
But, here's where I'm going with this. Growing up poor taught me something, love isn't about one day. Love isn't about what you can buy for the other person. Love is about what you're willing to give to the one you love. Time. Effort. Passion. Enthusiasm. Trust. Dedication. Discipline.....Your Life.
This is the true test of love. You give your all. Your soul bleeds with all things you feel, and you cringe at the thought of being away from this person, and you shake with anticipation at the thought of seeing them again. You cry when you think you've hurt them, but you skip when you think you've pleased them. All things I have mentioned, are free.
Many years ago, I figured it out. The true test of love comes to this: If you were on a deserted island. No TV, no radio, no media or correspondence with the outside world...Would it be possible to be in love. To show the person you loved them, and to remain in love?
Of-fucking-COURSE it's possible!! It's just bullshit to think that you need a card to express how you feel. It's stupid to think that Jake Gyllenhaal can show her how you love her better in a movie, than you can yourself at home. It's asinine that CHOCOLATE in a heart shaped box means "I love you." when you could have wrote her (no matter how shitty) a poem and put it in her lunch for work, or on her steering wheel of her car. Make her breakfast, and make your pancakes in the shape of hearts, or sing her a love song (Sinatra preferably) in your most broken and horrible voice. But, show the woman you love, that LOVE isn't based on a diamond, a brick of gold, or an 18.6 BILLION dollar industry. It's based on 365 days a year. It's based on the fact that you know in your soul of souls that you cannot live without this woman/man and you NEED them...not want them...in your life!! So, show them.
What happens if there's a day at work called "Work Day" when everyone works harder? Do you fuck off the rest of the year, and then work super hard on Work Day? Fuck no. Stupid. You'd get fired.
Therefore, stop sucking your left thumb, pull the right one out of your ass, and Man Up!! Real men know romance. Real men know passion. Best of all (read Shakespeare, Chaucer, Poe, Keats), MEN....know Love.
Love doesn't have a dollar sign in front of it. These women that say that they want a man that can "Supply me with what I'm worth." are shallow, and empty inside, and need something more than love......
No, your woman is your Queen. You are her King. To rule over a kingdom, you have to know how to please one another, before you can please the lands.
In finishing, I leave you with this thought:
On your deathbed, you are lying there with 1 minute to live...you can open a box of chocolates, and read a card...or you can gaze into the love of your life's eyes, while squeezing their hand that somehow has molded to fit yours perfectly over the years...you choose.
Me? Well, you know Knuckles, I'll be okay. I know love. I've felt it in the cockles of my heart. I know what I'm missing, and I know what I'm looking for...but for now...
I'm going to get me a hooker and buy her some candy, and hope she gives me an extra 30 minutes for free tomorrow.
Just sayin'....
I love you all....well...most of ya's....
-Johnny
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