Simple.
No one calls Customer Service to tell them about how great a job they are doing. No, it's when things go wrong. You could have had great service from whatever it may be for years, but as soon as a problem rears it's ugly head, it's time to damn the company for being inferior.
The same is with the Evening News. You never hear them proclaim: "Man went about his day with no problems. Life was good. The end." No, it's all negativity, and chaos, because that's what screams louder than peace and happiness.
You see, even during my boozing days, I was a gentleman. I would open doors for ladies, walk a thousand miles to find a gift for someone I love, or simply just cook an amazing meal for friends or family. I had a major flaw, of which I admit, but generally I was a kindhearted being. I felt I was being brave, and accountable by showing the world how serious I was taking my new path. I admit, there are repercussions to having an affliction such as Alcoholism. You're viewed as a demon after you admit to such a thing, and all the good you did, can easily be swept under the rug. Even when you're a person that wants everyone in your life to have their dreams come true before your own, and you fight with all of your might to make said things happen, you can easily have people lose sight of that, by showing them your weak underbelly.
People, I am still a gentleman. Crass and abrasive at times, yes, but would still go to battle in any of your names, because I respect, love, and admire many of you. I have never wished anyone else harm, and I fight for love at all opportunity. I know that I have stepped on a few toes, and said some things I did not mean, but that does not change the value of my heart. A select few of you hold a position in my mind and heart that cannot be rivaled. I would die, literally, for those few. I would sacrifice whatever needed to be done, just for their happiness, and I don't want any of you to forget that.
We as humans are flawed. Some more deeply than others. But, it's those that admit their flawed, that seek justice for their wrong doings.
Patience, love, understanding, acceptance, compassion, and a few more key things, are traits that I need in people now.
I am no thief. I am no murderer. I am no thug. I am not anything, but the same man that wants to love, and be loved. I want to cook a meal for the world, and hug everyone that stands in front of me. I want to give until it bleeds, and expect nothing in return but a smile and happiness.
Most of all, I want people to know that I am trying to be the best human I can be. That meant cutting away the biggest flaw I had. No. I will never be perfect. None of us will. But, just knowing that I am trying, keeps me motivated to continue along that path.
-Johnny
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