Somewhere along the lines between our fathers and we (new) men, we forgot what it was like to be a gentleman, of class and dignity. It's not 'cool' to be a gentleman anymore. Look to Hollywood for examples and you come up with but a handful. Mr. Clooney stands out amongst the top, but you need to jump over the pond to find more than that. Notable Britons have always found ways to be classy. (even the fellas that didn't play James Bond) You have your Sir Ian McKellen which is classier than 90% of Straight Men in the United States, and he's a proud gay man. Then, of course you can follow with Hugh Laurie, Colin Firth, and even Hugh Grant has his moments (when he's not picking up hookers)
All I'm trying to say is this, it's not taught to us any longer as a means of making yourself dignified and intelligent. Men my age and younger think that the way to a woman's heart is to buy her a bottle of Cristal at a club and take her to the VIP section while flashing tons of cash. Granted, this does impress a lot of girls (read former blogs for the immaturity in our society), but these are not women with value or weight. These are Single Serving Women.
Sadly, we no longer have a problem bringing home the Single Serving Woman to meet Mom. It's a fact that this is all a case of laziness.
For example, I was walking about 10 steps behind a friend of mine (male) the other day walking into a Blockbuster and he walked up to the door at the exact same time as a woman did. He made no effort to hold the door for her and, in fact, went in first and I rushed for the door to hold it open and gave a courteous "After you.", that didn't receive any response.
I walked inside and asked him "Why'd you do that?". At which he looked at me blankly with a "Do what?" and I pointed at the door, the lady, and his reply was simple; "She didn't even say 'Thank you.' to you, and none of them do anymore, so why even make the effort?"
There you have it folks. "Why even make the effort?"
It's all about us. Because without some kind of instant gratification, there is no reasoning behind being kind, classy, respectful, or gentlemanlike.
I'll say this, I make the efforts so that I do not become a drone that is hell bent upon "I, Me, Mine" (it's a Beatles song...check it out), and so that I am putting out more than I'm taking in. It sounds stupid to most of you, I'm sure, to give more than you receive, but in the ultimate light of it all, we're not here to accumulate more than someone else, or to 'use' others...we're here as a shrewedness of apes that are supposed to be keeping each other alive to maintain our position in the animal kingdom as the King Banana.
It saddens me that men say "I can't find a decent woman.", and then act the way they do, and it saddens me when a woman says "I can't find a decent man." then goes to a club, uses men to buy drinks, then makes out with her girlfriend to keep the drinks coming, and finishes going home and sleeping with one of these men and feeling remorse for 5 days until she does it again.
Flooding yourself with self respect will inevitably cause an overflow of respect into the outside world.
It's okay to not be the loudest, the most obnoxious, the richest or the man with the coolest car. It's okay to be the man in the corner that has little to say about "Jon and Kate Plus 8", but then perks up when you hear how that the greatest Documentary on Hunter S. Thompson was Gonzo.
We've come a long way, and in this world full of places to be courteous, respectful, and kind...we Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, and Bebo our way into a world of Asshole that we then wonder how we got into.
As many places to prove you're an egomaniacal jerk that is destined to be with a girl named Tiffani ("With an I."), that wears a nametag during the day and serves shots at night....there are an equal amount of places to prove that chivalry is not dead. That intelligence will win out over ignorance, and that holding a door for a lady will never go out of style.
And, until we figure it out, keep trying my friends...it'll eventually stick.
Respectfully all of yours,
Mangano.....Johnny Mangano
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