I may be no expert in relationships and how to make them last (you may even want to come to me to ask how to do the opposite), but there is one thing I know quite well: The Male Libido.
I read a statistic that stated: Males between the age of 12 and 19 think about sex once every 5 seconds.
Lump my 30 something ass into there with them.
Which brings me to my topic for the day.
Necessary Nookie for the Male Libido.
I believe that nuns and monks are very admirable for their vow of celibacy, but completely unnecessary and they're missing out on a key ingredient to human happiness.
I know two types of women (and a few gray area women) that fall on both sides of this topic. Women are more across the board, because...let's face it...testosterone is the 'horny juice' of the human body, and we have an abundance and you have varied levels.
The first type is the type of woman that can't hold a relationship down, because she likes sex, or uses it to try and find a man. She dresses a little provactively and makes efforts to flirt with Joe Six Pack at the bar. She is up for giving morning head, has the Lunch-hour-Lust and is up for a roll in the hay after getting out of the gym. Yet, she thinks that sex IS love, and therefore can't make a relationship work past a couple to a few years, mostly because she's in a relationship with a guy that mostly liked her because she likes to fuck.
On the flip side of the coin:
The second type is more confusing. The girl that goes out of her way to NOT have sex. Okay, so maybe not go out of her way, but makes no efforts to give it any sort of importance. She'll busy herself to keep her mind off of it, or it just slips her mind altogether on a daily basis, because let's face it, it's not the first thought that crossed her mind before running to the mall to meet up with her girlfriends. She's a fun date, intelligent, and easy to get along with, but finds herself wondering what's "missing" in her relationships and when confronted with "It's because you never want to have sex." She always evades that idea to believe "It can't be that." Yet, if a man thinks about sex once out of 5 seconds, and he's not getting it...it's 'that'.
We as a species (as previously stated in former blogs), may have evolved ourselves into a corner. The woman that knows her man is an animal, but doesn't use sex as either a weapon or as a foundation, is a woman that will keep a happy man for many, many years.
Sex is a key to life. And, as dolphins and humans are the only two mammals that have sex for enjoyment, it's almost a necessity to find a balance of Sex and Life.
The endorphins released cause a euphoric feeling, a bond, and releases anxiety, stress, and a multitude of other bodily displeasures.
As I said, I'm no relationship expert, but I'm observant, and I know that I have lost relationships for making sex the ONLY bond I had with a girl, and also the lack of sex in other relationships.
Here's how it works ladies. Say you get married, and your man is about to head out to Pub Night with the boys. All the men are single that your new husband is going out with, and it's the same 'fellas' that he used to go out prowling for chicks with. You get nervous, and don't know what to think about the situation.
Well, Dr. Johnny has the cure for cancer for this one. Fuck his brains out.
Diffuse the bomb, before the bomb has a chance to blow up. Here's what happens:
You give him a thick riding before he leaves, and when he's with his buddies, he's not only relaxed and NOT thinking about sex (because he just got some), he's thinking about how great the sex was with you, and you've just bought yourself a ticket to happiness.
It's the same principle of when we go on dates. If we really like the lady, we'll rub one out before we go on this date. Why? So that we're not trying to 'score' with you, and we focus more on your wonderful assets, as opposed to your ass-n-tits.
We, as men, know that our beast within is a vile one. He has to be fed in order to 'think' properly and with a clear mind.
This is why we are willing to fuck up a "wife and kids" scenario for one thing, and one thing alone....sex. Whether it be with someone younger, darker, fatter, thinner, redhead, or blonde....we like variety, and hate routine. So, keep it spicy, and keep it wild, and we'll never stray. It's not a "what if" situation...it's a "WILL" situation.
I, myself, do not fit into this category. As you read in my blogs, I am not your Run of the Mill type man. I can fuck up a relationship in a multitude of ways, but it will never be for cheating. I'll punch the clown twice a day if necessary to kill that insatiable feeling of horny, but I will not destroy Love for Lust. Passion, maybe, but not passion in the sexual mind. I love passion of life, soul, earth, and all inbetween, but never "Just for sex."
In finishing, a nun and a monk are respected by me for the intent (as futile as it is), but in the end, they're missing out on making love, jungle fucking, and quickies. They finish doing the wrong thing (alter boys), because it's human nature to want to spread your seed, or have your eggs fertilized.
Or, to simply, get off.
So, men, do your best to know that you have a monster in your belly, and he's just that...a monster. He'll turn you into something you don't need in your life if you let him.
Ladies. Please, if you take anything away from this, let it be this nugget of wisdom: We are far more horny than you THINK you know. We hide it at all costs, but we need to be satiated, or we will look to the first example of woman for what we need. (and we know from the jump that those relationships are doomed, but for some reason, some men still choose to get laid more often, than have a relationship with substance...if they feel neglected)
As Joe Rogan so bluntly puts it..."It's leftover monkey shit."
Final thought:
I'll break it down into my Man Equation; We lift weights to gain muscle, to look 'protective' to get women, to get laid. We go to college, to get a good job, to make more money, to buy cool shit, to get women, to get laid. We shave, we shower, we run, we learn to cook, we do damn close to everything we do...with the intent...that it'll get us laid. No joke. If sex were not in this equation, men would stink, be hairy, and ultimately we'd all look like Zach Galifianakis. Seriously.
So, that's my insight into our gremlin we call our male libido. Feel free to take away from it what you like, but that's men, cut and dry. We love you women, but we love our little soldier just as much.
Why do you think, after every sexual encounter, we ask whether or not you had an orgasm, or "Was that good for you?", because we want you to jump up and down and cheer our name, and say "That was the best sex EVER!! You're a rockstar!!"
Alright, enough said....
I'm off to a Thai Massage parlor...
The ol' Rub-n-Tug,
I'm out....
-Johnny
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