Wednesday, January 5, 2011

I shall spear you with my raging demon rod!!!

"What's that? Oh...I didn't notice...well, would you happen to have a cock ring in your pocket so I can stab you in the face with my meaty demon spear?"

You may ask, "What in the fuck is he babbling on about now?" Well, I'll tell ya...

It seems that whenever someone begins to tell me at length about how that God has been leading them in the right direction, and their life is more complete with Him in it...and then the inevitable question comes about of "What religion are you? Have you been going to church?" "I'm an Atheist."

And, then, I get THE look. Like I've got a 14 inch throbbing cock that is growing out of my forehead. Like I'm some kind of freak of nature that they now don't know any longer. That I am born of evil, and my presence is now damning them to the fiery depths of Hell!!

Yeah, THAT look.

"What? I never knew that! How can you not believe in God? He is all around you. His miracles are everywhere you look."

In my (and every Atheists) mind, when they ask "How can you not believe in God?", I am asking "How CAN you?"

You see, I wasn't judging you the whole time you were speaking. I was letting you exist in your own little bubble. Believing what you want to believe. Yet, as soon as I spoke of your God not existing...I am a stranger.

Atheists don't go door-to-door trying to get you to not believe in your God. We don't push our belief off on anyone. We don't go to other countries under a false guise of "helping them" only to fix their house, only if they'll let us teach them of our philosophy.

Don't get me wrong. I believe in the idea of what religion was based on. A set of guidelines, that are meant to assist people in being a better community.

Don't kill. Don't rape. Don't fuck your neighbors wife....shit like that. But, aren't these things that any fucking moron could figure out on his own? I mean, I'd LOVE to believe in your God, I would...but, I don't. There's no proof. No science. Nothing, but faith. If I started having faith that my schlong would grow to 18 inches...I'd be the happiest man on the planet. Would it happen? No. But, the faith in it would make me smile.

I think that we Atheists are generally more genial than most other beliefs. Being that we believe that our existence is only that of a blade of grass. We're here. We exist. We grow. We die. Then it enables us to concentrate more of the Here-and-Now more than believing we're going to the mansion in the clouds with a dude that looks like Santa for an eternity. Yes, a blade of grass breathes oxygen. It grows, has energy, and dies if not properly cared for, but if you ask anyone that believes in religion if it's going to Heaven, they'll reply "Of course not. Don't be stupid.". The same answer comes with dogs, cats, or any other animal. "Animals don't have souls."

Wait, aren't we animals? Then, of course...we get into the whole "Book" bullshit....yada yada yada. I get it. You want everyone on the planet to believe in your belief so YOU can get into your Heaven, for being a good believer in your religion. Well, here's what I want when I die.

Dig a hole...grab an acorn...stick it in my belly button...throw me in the hole...cover me with dirt. Go get drunk.

OR....option B: Build a large bed out of sticks, and logs, place me on it, pour gasoline over the whole thing, push me out into the ocean...shoot a flaming arrow at my ass like I'm a fucking viking!...then....Go get drunk.

You see, once I have no more use for this carcass of a body, I want to NOT be stuck in a box, and buried someplace for no purpose. Where's the "Circle of Life" in that? Lame. I've done wayyyy too much cool shit on this planet to not go out like a warrior. This earth has given me some bad ass memories, and I want to give something back to it. How about...the vitamins and nutrients that my body would give a tree? One day, my great grandchildren could walk by and say "Hello Grandpa Johnny!" to an enormous fucking oak tree!!

Bottom line. If me not believing in your God doesn't make me stare at you like a cock is growing out of your forehead each time you mention your God, then stop looking at me that way when I speak my mind.

I'm nice. (mostly) I'm polite. (mostly) I'm a gentleman. (you get the drift)

So, why judge me on what we don't have in common? Why not judge me on the fact I haven't tried to murder you. Or fuck your sister. Why not judge me on the fact I opened the door for your grandma, and made you dinner?

You're born, and you die. We all do. As soon as we're born, we begin dying. So, how about not judging so much on the differences, and start to celebrate the similarities?

Fucking idiots.

One love,
Knuckles

P.S. Jesus was a drunk. Who else would turn water into wine?

No comments:

Post a Comment