Now, I'm not talking about how radio waves are emitted and fried the love portion of your brain. I'm here to discuss the downward trickle of what has become the demise of something that was once so precious to each of us that we would search the world to find it: Love.
I'll get right to it, before I give my normal examples. You see, the cell phone itself has not put the kibosh on love, but the portable-ness of a direct link to hundreds of others have. (if not thousands now)
There's a saying that I've heard for years that seems to have just reared it's ugly head, "A relationship is only as good as your options." Which, ties right in to where I'm about to go.
The invention of the cell phone was a miraculous thing. You could be ANYWHERE and if you had to bring home milk to your wife, you were just a call away. In a car accident and need an ambulance? 911 at your fingertips. Need to pick the kids up from school, but you're running late? Call the husband and ask if he can do it.
But then...it happened...men and women alike realized that with this DIRECT line to themselves that they no longer had to worry about a mistress or a boytoy calling the home and having the spouse answer the line. No. Now there was a direct communication to you that only you answered. Then, the addition of the 'mute' or 'silent' buttons added to it when the significant other would ask "Who's calling you?" or the "Are you going to get that?" Now there was a way to completely go incognito with your lies.
Here's where I tell you that we're all noncommittal, and we're all hidden cheaters to an extent. But, that's just not true. Some of the world got out all of their wildness back in college or during their single years to make themselves more marry-able when the time came. Here, we have an example of people that probably didn't let loose, and are now 'bored' with their lives and wish to spice it up. Something NEW, something WILD, something FRESH!! When in all actuality, it's, something DIFFERENT...that's all. So, now you can have that girl you met at the coffee house call you, Bonnie from the office that is also in a rut in her marriage, and a whole slew of other women, and your wife will be none the wiser.
Keep in mind, at this point, this is just a select few people.
Then, came texting. The next step of 'automatic acknowledgment' without having to speak a word out loud. Complete conversations between two people that was silent, short for the ticking sound of the buttons on the phone. "Oh, it's Ted from the office honey. He's just asking if we're playing golf this weekend. Let me write him back really fast." - - - "UR SO HOT BONNIE, I CAN'T W8 2 C U SATURDAY!" - - "Okay love muffin, what were you saying?"
This increased the level of secret callers by double. And, if you go back and reference what I said about "options"... If you have your wife sitting in front of you, and you have 20 women texting and calling you that are...not so much 'hotter'...than your wife, but they may have something she's lacking...wife has big boobs, Bonnie has small boobs...wife is calm in bed...Bonnie sends dirty texts. So, not "better", just "different".
Finally, came Myspace, Facebook, and Twitter. The conversation killers. The serial murderers that kill and maim anything and all things in their wake.
And, they're right there at your fingertips.
A husband has no problems that his wife's ex-flame Bobby from highschool looked her up on Facebook. "It's good to see how far we've all come."
Until Bobby starts sending your wife messages saying "Damn! You're still as sexy and hot as you were back in high school." The same goes for her coworkers, her college friends, and little Timmy that played with her in the sandbox at 3 years old.
Now, you catch your wife trying to take the 'prettiest' picture she can to be her Facebook profile picture. When asked why, "I'm not allowed to look pretty in my pictures?"
It is at this point that 100's of gentleman/lady callers have become thousands. Old flames, friends of friends, and an unlimited amount of people ogling your pictures.
Which, brings me to my conclusions.
If you fell in love with your significant other for more than 80% of your qualifications for "A long lasting love.", that 20% now feels like 200% with all these other men/women in your ear. Their flaws are heightened by the strengths of others. The problem is, everyone...and I mean EVERYONE has flaws. People that are allowed to type and edit their compliments will make you feel like a king or queen, until they get what they want. So, when you're at dinner with your partner, and you get 20 direct messages from Facebook, 10 Wall Posts, 5 comments on Myspace, 2 text messages from guys from work, and 1 call that you have to send to voicemail....how much of your attention is spent on your husband, and how great that 80% is?
It's not that I'm cynical. I'm not, but I calls'em as I sees'em. Our great grandparents had maybe 3 good friends each. The wife would gossip at the hair salon, the husband met the 'guys' down at the bar. The amount of people you remained in contact with was small enough to not allow doubt in your partner. Occasionally you'd hear that a friend from highschool got married or had a baby through the grapevine. But, all in all, a dinner with your husband was just that...a dinner with your husband.
In a world that love and relationships have become "Only as good as your options.", and being cool on a social networking site takes precedent over a long lasting relationship, just because now you "have so many options"...isn't it time to reevaluate our direction?
It's true. If you have 2,000 people in your ear, no 1 person will look like a Knight in Shining Armour. But, I don't have the attention for 2,000 people. That would spread me too thin. I like being a man of substance.
I don't go to a bar and think for 20 minutes about which mixed drink I want, because there's "so many options". "Scotch, rocks, 3 fingers."
Give me the simple life. Give me a world of love, respect, kindness and crassness.
Give me a shot of Jack, because after this...
I fucking need it.
Cheers folks, I need to post this on my Facebook so you can all read it and admire my intellect.
HA!
-Johnny
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